Rest is essential, as is a routine for your child. Sleep now and you'll see later… is one of the phrases friends and relatives most often repeat to expectant parents. And yes—sleep deprivation is one of the biggest challenges for those becoming a mom or dad for the first time.

When you become new parents, you enter a world of exciting and surprising changes; however, managing your sleep and your newborn’s is one of the most challenging tasks during the first weeks of your child’s life. Moreover, those caring for the baby often sleep very little because the nighttime hours are marked by feedings , with consequent stress and frustration.
In the media, adults are advised to sleep between seven and nine hours each night; but unfortunately, most new parents lose sleep after the birth of their baby for a variety of reasons. You may find yourself staying awake waiting for the baby’s cry, or struggling to fall back asleep after a nighttime feeding.

After the birth of the baby, men lose an average of 13 minutes of sleep per night, while women lose more than an hour per night. Often, parents’ sleep does not return to pre-pregnancy levels until the child is older than six years.

At first, you feel ready for—almost—everything, but not for the change in your biorhythm. Used to long nights of sleep without even waking up, parents suddenly experience disturbed and fragmented sleep that leaves them not only tired, but also irritable and low on energy. What can you do to survive sleep deprivation? Here are some tips.

Why is sleeping well so important?

We all know how it feels when we don’t get enough sleep. We feel tired, we have problems with concentration and attention , and above all, we tend to feel stressed and anxious more quickly. For this reason, lack of sleep can negatively affect our behavior and emotions; for example, we may be more prone to impulsive reactions and behaviors .

Sleep deprivation and sleepless nights: what are the consequences?

There are many factors that can generate stress in a new parent: the feeling of not being up to the task; physical exhaustion in mothers due to childbirth and the start of breastfeeding, which can be tiring and drain energy; the difficulty of understanding the newborn and their needs in the early days; and lack of sleep .

This last element influences everything else: energy, positivity, motivation, and sweetness towards the baby.

Don’t be afraid and don’t feel different; every mother, especially with her first child, experiences a continuous rollercoaster of emotions in which exhaustion can take over. Irritability, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, and even depression are all natural consequences of sleep deprivation.

Sleep deprivation and postpartum depression

Postpartum depression is a real syndrome that affects some new mothers (<\/em>) it is estimated that they account for 8 to 13% ) within the first three months postpartum.

Lack of sleep can be associated with anxiety in new mothers. If you experience symptoms of postpartum depression, seek help from your family and a doctor. Treatment for postpartum depression naturally includes rest, as well as socialization when possible—even just breaking up long days of feeding and diaper changes with outdoor walks in the company of a friend—and requesting assistance from partners, family members, and friends.

Breastfeeding and sleep

Mothers who choose to breastfeed may notice changes in their baby’s sleep and awakenings. Some studies and testimonials show that breastfed babies have more night awakenings than formula-fed babies. Additionally, breastfed babies may wake more easily than those fed with formula. As a result, mothers who breastfeed are often more awake during the night. This is not meant to discourage you from breastfeeding; if a mother feels like doing it and has experienced a milk let-down, it is right for her to do so. This is one of the most special moments with the baby and helps create a strong bond. However, it is important to be informed and understand what to do if, due to lack of sleep, the mother accidentally falls asleep during feeding, especially at night. To keep the situation safe for you and your baby, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends using a double bed as the safest place to breastfeed if there is a risk of falling asleep, and breastfeeding in a hazard-free space, such as avoiding blankets, sheets, and other potentially dangerous objects.

Sleep deprivation: what can you do?

Prioritize rest as soon as possible; it is essential. Newborns have shorter sleep cycles compared to adults. In the first months, they may wake up repeatedly during the night, seeking the breast or bottle, both for feeding and comfort. For adults accustomed to uninterrupted sleep, this can be very difficult at first. But don’t worry: from the second child onwards, it often becomes easier! If that last statement didn’t comfort you at all, here are some tips to improve your sleep routine:

• Sleep when the baby sleeps . A classic recommendation from grandmothers, but very true. A “power nap,” or a deep snooze, can reduce your stress levels and restore your energy to face the challenges of new motherhood.

• Learn to say no . There will probably be friends, family members, and other loved ones who want to meet your baby. This can cause anxiety, stress, and disrupt your daily routine. If you’re tired and don’t feel up to it, don’t worry—learn to say no by postponing the visit.
  

• Help is essential : to rest, you need the opportunity to do so, letting go of the house and other daily chores. Ask for help from your partner, your mom, or a friend. Don’t worry if the house isn’t perfectly clean or if dinner isn’t perfect; you and the baby are the priority right now.
  

• Create a good sleeping environment and a goodnight routine. A good sleeping environment for adults is cool, quiet, and dark. The same recommendations apply to infants. Make sure the temperature is not too cold or too hot, that the room is dark and quiet, and that the baby is not overdressed and does not sweat.
  

• Make yourself comfortable : if the little one wakes you up frequently, try to avoid getting up to breastfeed in the living room or other parts of the house; instead, experiment with breastfeeding while lying on your side.
  

• Co-sleeping , with all the safety precautions in place, can be a good solution for the first few months: babies often sleep longer with the warmth of their mother, and you won’t have to keep getting up, reducing the time you’re awake between feedings.
  

• Do not turn on the light or other light sources during the night : you can, for example, keep a soft light in the room with the shutter slightly raised, so that your child does not wake up abruptly and gradually learns to differentiate between day and night.
  

Sleep deprivation and parenthood

Research shows that sleep deprivation can also have a negative impact on parenting. Positive parenting involves being responsive and warm towards the child. Higher levels of stress are associated with difficulties in emotional regulation.

Difficulty managing emotions can affect relationships with family members, friends, and your child. Mindfulness could help you tune into your own senses, experiencing daily actions—even the more stressful ones, or sleep deprivation itself—as true rituals. A positive attitude towards what happens around you is the foundation for mental health and for your relationship with your child.