Mama, Mama, child and dog

On International Family Day on May 15th, LILLYDOO wants to celebrate family. Because family is one of the most beautiful and important pillars in life. But not all families are the same. And that's a good thing! Five families – representing the enriching diversity of families that exist – have given us insight into their lives. We are excited to share their fascinating and very personal stories with you here. Maybe you'll see yourself and your family reflected in one or two places? But even if your family looks very different, it surely also brings that extra dose of happiness and love into your life.

This time: Daniela, 36, and her wife live together with their two-and-a-half-year-old son and dog near Hamburg. From there, Daniela also runs her blog . In our article, she shares her colorful family life under the rainbow.

Hi! I am Daniela and live with my wife, our son, and his dog sister near Hamburg. As LILLYDOO I asked myself if I wanted to be part of this series, I immediately agreed. Because I am very happy to share, on behalf of the many rainbow families in Germany, about our family life.

When my wife and I met almost 15 years ago, it was immediately clear to us: we want to grow old together – with everything that comes with it. With each passing day, our dreams are coming true: on countless trips, I was able to show my wife my home country Brazil, we celebrated the registration of our civil partnership with a lively party, our little Boxer dog Emmy joined us and turned our lives upside down. But all of that is nothing compared to the happiness that was to befall us in 2015: the happiness of becoming mothers to a wonderful little man.

Since then, we are Mama and Mamãe. The little one is being raised bilingually – during the day I speak Portuguese with him while my wife speaks German with him after work. He understands both languages equally well – even if sometimes he pretends to be deaf in one ear. ;-)

Everyday life: spontaneity instead of structure

Our everyday life is colorful – others would probably call it chaotic. :) We have never been very well-organized people, and the little one has completely scrambled the barely existing order. And now he’s in charge. He takes us along and we follow – we spend a lot of time outdoors in nature, go to the sea as often as we can, and rediscover the world together with him. Unfortunately, the time when you rush from one appointment to the next comes early enough. That’s why we try to live as much as possible in the now and to have plenty of time for each other. A typical day with my family looks like this: In the mornings, we take our time for a delicious breakfast, usually with waffles or pancakes. Then we go into the woods to throw sticks and clear our minds from the week. At the moment, the little one can’t quite decide whether he still wants to take his nap or not. We base our afternoon plans on that. So, we usually decide quite spontaneously whether to visit friends, have them come over, or drive, if it fits, spontaneously to the North Sea. In the evening, when the little one goes to bed, we simply enjoy the quiet and the time we have for each other. Often by lying down together and falling asleep immediately. :)

I can't even imagine what it would be like to spend a day without my family. We chose this life from day one. Made career decisions that allow us a lot of family time – even before we had children or a dog. We don't go on vacation – this way, we always have the dog with us. I recently extended my parental leave so I can watch our little one grow up.

Earlier, I loved listening to loud music the most; today, the laughter of our little one cannot be loud enough. We often think about having more children, but unfortunately, this is not something that a rainbow family experiences spontaneously. Because we are living in a and not in a marriage, many doors are closed to us, such as the coverage of by health insurance or the possibility to adopt a child together (currently, this is only possible sequentially). Anyone who thinks that the biggest bureaucratic hurdles are overcome after the birth of the child is mistaken. The time afterward strains a family's nerves just as much: it is followed by the often lengthy process of stepparent adoption, which we were fortunately able to complete, and about which I have written extensively on my blog.

The hope that "unusual" will become "usual"

At least we only encounter respect and tolerance from our environment. From this, we draw courage and strength to face the adversities that may still lie ahead on our path.

For the future, I wish that the various family constellations will influence the image of the family even more: on the streets, in advertising, in the big city, in the village. In short: the family next door, which doesn't require any differentiation. I hope that politics will no longer keep worsening the laws through amendments, but that genuine equality will finally be achieved, one that is also lived and not just an empty phrase. So that the rainbow can continue to shine in its most beautiful colors.