The patchwork family

On International Family Day on May 15th, LILLYDOO wants to celebrate family. Because family is one of the most beautiful and important pillars in life. But not all families are the same. And that's a good thing! Five families – representing the enriching diversity of families that exist – have given us insight into their lives. We are excited to share their fascinating and very personal stories with you here. Maybe you'll see yourself and your family reflected in one or two places? But even if your family looks very different, it surely also brings that extra dose of happiness and love into your life.

This time: Nina Bott, 39, actress and mom, lives in Hamburg with her two children and her 10 years younger boyfriend. Her boyfriend Benni is the father of little Luna, the son is from a previous relationship. In this post and also on her blog Mutterrolle, Nina shares about the life of her patchwork family.

We are a patchwork family. We, are Luna (1), Lennox (13), Benni (29), and me (39). I am Nina. Mom, girlfriend, actress, presenter, blogger. And yes, exactly, "Cora Hinze" from GZSZ. ;-) My patchwork family is the best thing that could have happened to me. And that's why I was very happy when LILLYDOO asked me if I would write this post on the occasion of International Family Day. Of course, every patchwork family is different, but I am happy to be part of the family series and to share with you my honest and positive experiences of a patchwork family.

When I met my friend Benni, Lennox was 8 years old. The two immediately had a very close relationship. They are both passionate athletes and big sports fans. Tennis, soccer, golf. That naturally creates a strong bond. Therefore, Benni had it very easy with Lennox, literally. Lennox couldn't not like Benni. Moreover, Lennox's father and I are the best friends. I think I can truly say that the separation couldn't have gone better for my son. It was certainly not easy for him, but we simply made the best of it. All together.

Benni and I have been very open from the start about our 10-year age difference and our plans for children. Our compromise: I will be a slightly older mom than I ever thought I would be, and he will be a somewhat younger dad than he "planned." That's the theory. ;-) Otherwise, the age difference is not an issue for us or our surroundings. Or maybe they just don't tell us honestly. But even if they were whispering about it secretly, I wouldn't care. This probably also has to do with my profession. What the press writes and what the public thinks must bounce off me. And it does. Thanks to my dear family and friends, my ego and I are not sensitive at all.

The relationship with Benni gives me a lot of stability. Benni and I are very different, but in a very special way, we are connected and united. He is an absolute thinker. Thoughtful, well-considered, and disciplined. I always listen to my gut. I am spontaneous, wild, and full of life. Benni appears very straightforward on the outside, a businessman through and through, but he is full of emotions and feelings. Especially since he became a dad, he can show his feelings, his soft inner self, and his big heart even better. He would drop everything immediately to be with us. That gives me security. Our priorities are very clear: the children. That’s why Benni would also like to have half a football team. And for once, I am the realist...

In the meantime, our shared daughter Luna is almost one and a half years old. Her big brother is exactly 12 years older and the best brother she could wish for. He loves her very much, and she adores her “Ennno”. Even during pregnancy, Lennox hardly missed a . He was also the first to be allowed into the delivery room after the birth to greet his little sister. By the way, he was the only one who didn't know whether he was going to get a sister or a brother – he wanted to be surprised.

We are often asked by others how the patchwork model works for us. And we frequently hear horror stories and small-scale war scenarios. I feel it is my responsibility to treat each other with dignity and fairness even after a separation. Not only for the children, but also for our own peace of mind. I am therefore infinitely grateful that we are such a harmonious patchwork family, because I know that this is not a given.

We don't really have a regular family routine. Mainly thanks to my job, I am always blessed with very spontaneous appointments, and every week is different. So, it really never gets boring, but it is a big challenge to still give the children calm and security. You also need to allow yourself breaks and simply do nothing sometimes. I am very good at that. ;-)

But that still doesn't stop me from being a perfectionist: I naturally cook baby food myself, and our apartment always has to look perfect. Instead of just relaxing, I love cooking passionately and almost never go to bed without tidying everything up first. When I am on the road a lot for work, of course, some things pile up. And I hate that. Luckily, my boyfriend is gradually becoming a neat freak as well and takes on as much as possible to help me out.

Without the grandparents, we would still be completely lost. Who else could care for the children as devotedly as they do? Fortunately, our families live in Hamburg and we have all the support imaginable. As I mentioned, we both work a lot and very happily. It works wonderfully because we are very well organized. Additionally, I take my family with me whenever I can and especially when it makes sense for the children. All in all, we are really a very normal family. Just somehow publicly.

My children are luckily not only blessed with the best grandparents but also the best dads one could wish for. This allows me to fully immerse myself in my career and then catch a flight back home in the evening. My son often spends the night at his dad's, but there is no fixed arrangement. We always do what is best for Lennox. Often spontaneously. I have never been separated from Luna for more than a day so far. No wonder, because Luna has not yet finished with ;-) That's why I always sleep where Luna is.

"Are you getting married!?" is still the most frequently asked question in interviews. However, marriage is not a must for me. Certainly, a festive occasion with great significance, but you can also be very happy without a marriage certificate. I have now gotten used to the sometimes very private questions. I have been living essentially under public scrutiny since 1997. I am very approachable, but I always weigh my responses in both the press and on my blog. What is too private, what is too intimate? Where do I need to draw an important line? My children should grow up completely "normally." Luckily, my profession is nothing special for my son. And Luna is still too young to notice all of this anyway.

For the future, I simply wish for health. The greatest good. Everything else will fall into place. I always have dreams and ideas, but I am not so fixed and consistent in my life. I lost my parents very early, and therefore probably have a very humble attitude towards life. I enjoy every moment and am very grateful for everything. Especially for my (patchwork) family. Your Nina