Questions about parenting counseling

Sometimes it’s not easy to seek and accept help from outside – especially when it comes to such a personal matter as your family life. You don’t have to face your worries and problems alone. It is completely normal for things not to run smoothly in a family and for there to be uncertainties in parenting or in dealing with certain situations. Parenting and family counseling can help you with all kinds of difficulties in family life; even if there are no acute problems yet, counseling can provide an important nudge in the right direction. This way, you regain confidence in yourself and in your role as mother or father.

Our LILLYDOO expert Heike vom Heede offers parenting support herself and helps parents and couples in everyday life with all their questions. In the interview, she will tell you what you need to know about counseling services and why it's worth stepping out of your comfort zone.

Dear Heike, first of all: Who are you and what exactly do you do?

I am a graduate social pedagogue and founder of the in Düsseldorf. For over 20 years, I have been supporting expectant and new parents with heart and professional expertise, helping them to enjoy all the highs, lows, and challenges of the . I am fortunate to be able to turn my profession into a vocation. I am a mother of two now adult sons, and family life is very important to me in my private life as well. Besides my family and friends, I find strength for all the challenges that await me during regular forest walks and holidays on my favorite island, Formentera.

Responsibilities of Educational Counseling

What is the purpose of educational counseling?

An educational and family counseling center should be located at Insecurities in family life help by jointly finding answers to problems and developing constructive courses of action. I see my task as recognizing the uniqueness of the parents and children who come to me and providing them with support. Above all, the goal should be for the parents to rediscover and re-feel their competence in parenting, as well as to learn to better understand the child with all their possible emotions, outbursts, or during difficult phases.

What is particularly important to you when advising parents and families?

In my concept, I refer to the Educational support instead of counseling. Because usually I don't just advise families once, but accompany them over a longer period from the outside and from within with heart, expertise, and respect. It is important to me that all the people I support know that I am there for them and that I have a broad network around me that knows the appropriate solutions for many problems. A part of my secret formula is certainly also a respectful and sensitive Umgang miteinander. I have the great gift that families often place a lot of trust in me and, for example, give me an insight into their private lives during home visits. Something very special for me is when I can accompany the beginning of life with the infant. This is the phase in which both parents and child are most sensitive. I am very aware of the responsibility of my work and therefore always look where the competencies of the parents lie and encourage them to build on that.

In which questions and problems can counseling help?

The topics of educational and family counseling are very diverse and cover everything related to family life : Whether with newborns, toddlers, or teenagers, whether single parents or Patchwork . Therefore, parents can visit a counseling center regardless of any uncertainty. I personally follow a holistic concept that is based on the three pillars "Becoming parents," "being parents," and "staying a couple" rests. Many parents come to me seeking help in organizing their daily life with a child and learning how they Family and Career agree with each other, but also partnership and child. Very specific problems are, for example, difficulties in falling asleep or staying asleep of the child, Stillness and feeding problems or when the acclimatization to the daycare begins. Also questions about the Baby Development about when they need to grasp it properly or how to support them in learning to walk, are not unusual. The older the children get, the more questions arise about the Dealing with digital media and adolescence. All parents should know that during difficult phases they can turn to educational and family counseling for support, for example in cases of grief and separations – this can be a great help. Together, we try to find a way out of every dead end. In some cases, it may be helpful to seek additional assistance from pediatricians, therapists, or osteopaths.

When is consulting advisable?

Who would you recommend to go to parenting counseling?

Whenever I, as a mother or father, feel a question mark inside me that repeatedly arises in dealing with my child, it is always worthwhile, in addition to visiting the pediatrician, to also seek guidance from a parenting counselor.

It should not feel uncomfortable for anyone to seek help. It is a very brave decision! No one has to feel alone in matters of upbringing. Sometimes, for example, feedback from doctors or Compare among parents to doubt myself and perhaps it's enough to have someone who listens to my worries. And sometimes, more and regular support is needed. But no matter what problem is bothering me: Parenting counseling or support is always helpful when I again a good feeling in family life want to. Seeking and accepting help is an important first step.

Process of Educational Counseling

How does the typical process of educational and family counseling proceed?

Just as the reasons why parents seek counseling centers vary greatly, the sessions themselves are also quite different. These can on-site, at the families' homes or also digitally taking place. The counseling center has the advantage of providing families with a protected and neutral space, which often makes it easier to open up. But probably everyone shares the experience that the first appointment is particularly exciting for mothers, fathers, and children. From a counselor's perspective, the initial focus is primarily on listening, so that they can get a sense of what concerns are involved and how intense these concerns are. Sometimes, the main focus is just on comforting, especially when the affected individuals can finally let their tears flow. Once the reason for the appointment has been unpacked, both parties assess how they feel about each other and whether the family can imagine walking the path with the counselor. The shared sessions then vary greatly. Sometimes a few conversations are enough, sometimes more intensive collaboration is needed. I am always pleased when parents trust me so much that home visits are also possible. sleep problems Then we will look at the sleeping area together or, if the child doesn't like to play, we will look at how the play corner is set up, how much toy there is, and what can be changed.

It may happen that parents realize after a few sessions that the collaboration with the parenting counselor does not work well. It is absolutely no problem to then stop the counseling. If it doesn't fit, you don't have to go back and can at least say that you tried. Nevertheless, it helps to stay brave and perhaps choose a different counseling center if the problem or concern has not yet been resolved.

Counseling centers

How do I find parenting counseling centers?

In almost every city or municipality, there are government-sponsored counseling services for parenting, for example by the Diakonie, Caritas or from the Youth Welfare Office . All these offers are usually free of charge. So anyone can free of charge Seeking help. The hours are usually limited here, but you can accomplish quite a lot there. If parents desire more intensive support, for example with home visits, a private educational support perhaps the right contact for them. The costs for this vary and should be inquired about in advance. However, I can sincerely say and speak for many parents that the gift of feeling lighter again as a family makes all the effort and costs worthwhile!

Thank you very much for this insight into the counseling and your concept, dear Heike! Whether you're facing small or big problems, parenting counseling can help you and your family feel comfortable again – you don't have to face your worries and problems alone. We hope we could give you a little courage to seek help and wish you and your family all the best!