Between the ages of two and three, children begin to gain control of their sphincters, making this a good time to start the potty-training process. Not all children develop this control at the same pace; it depends on their developmental stage. Still, there are some general guidelines that can help you recognize when the time has come, how to support the process, and what is normal (and what isn’t) along the way. In the following article, we answer some of the most common questions so you can take on this new challenge with confidence. Let’s go!

When is bladder and bowel control achieved?

Until around two or three years old, babies empty their bladder and bowels without being aware of it. It is a physiological act, much like breathing. We emphasize “around two or three years old” because while some children become aware of when they need to pee or poop earlier, others will do so later—and in almost all cases, that is completely normal.

Awareness of this need comes before bladder and bowel control, which is a skill acquired gradually. It is not something that can be taught, but rather one of the milestones of maturation. Just as you cannot teach a baby to blink, walk, or chew food, you also cannot train them to control their sphincters before they are ready. Everything depends on when they are physiologically and psychologically prepared. That is why, for a child to stop wearing diapers, they must first reach this point. It may happen at two years old, but it can also happen at four—and even up to five in the case of nighttime diapers.

How do you know if your child is ready to stop using diapers?

There is nothing to gain by trying to get a child to pee or poop in the toilet or potty if they are not ready. However, you can often tell when they begin to notice that their body needs to eliminate, and then you can start the process of moving away from diapers. Some signs that, according to the , can give you clues:

• If your child can walk without help, has good hand and foot coordination, and is able to dress and undress.

• If your child is able to follow simple instructions, such as standing up or sitting down on a chair.

• If you suspect they have some bladder control. To check, it may be enough to see whether the diaper stays dry for longer periods or whether they tell you that they are going to pee or poop.

How to start training to go to the bathroom?

• First of all, it is important to prevent this process from becoming unpleasant or a source of stress. Many schools require children to be diaper-free by the age of three, but the truth is that there is no rule that stipulates this. By talking with the school and other families, you can ask that individual circumstances be taken into account because, as we have already pointed out above, not all children achieve sphincter control at the same time. Babies and children need a lot of empathy and time—something we do not always give them.

• When you notice that your little adventurer is becoming aware of their bladder and bowel needs, encourage them to choose an appropriate accessory with you for the next step: going to the bathroom. You have the classic potty, but also adapters for the toilet. Involving your little adventurer in choosing this accessory can encourage their desire to use it and help them better imagine leaving the diaper behind.

• You can start removing the diaper for a few hours a day and offer the potty from time to time so they can notice their needs and express them. Most importantly, do not force anything; your child could completely lose interest in this new element.

• Sometimes, the time between your child realizing they need to urinate and the moment it happens is very short—or they may tell you only at the last second. Dressing them in easy-to-remove clothing will help. LILLYDOO kids training pants are ideal for this stage since they can be easily pulled down and up.

• Encourage good communication and explain what is happening at all times. Knowing what the process will be like and why this change is happening in their life will help them cope with it better.

• Finally, remember that babies and children learn through imitation. When you start potty training, encourage them to accompany you to the bathroom. Explain what you do, where you do it, and why.

What should we avoid?

It is not a good idea to put your child on the potty or on the toilet reducer for hours with a story or tablet just to get them used to it. Bathroom time should be brief and purposeful—something that happens for a reason. Sitting for hours does not help them adjust to the new situation, nor does it speed up the learning process.

If you see that the first attempts don’t work, your child may not be ready to learn to use the toilet yet. It is better to put the potty away and offer it again in a few weeks rather than insist, as pushing too hard can lead to rejection.

Another thing to keep in mind is that accidents are normal. Do not scold your child or blame them for these accidents. They are completely normal, and reacting that way is counterproductive. And, of course, avoid rewards and punishments; far from being educational, they can encourage other undesirable issues.

What resources are helpful to support the process?

Illustrated books are always a fantastic resource, and today there is also a wide range of themes you can explore with little ones. Keep in mind that a book on its own will not contain a magic formula to speed up potty training, but it can help children feel accompanied and understood. It also helps them see that what they are experiencing is normal and natural. From Pekeleke, they propose no more and no less than which can be very interesting. We recommend that you take note of some of the suggested reads and enjoy this stage because, as its author says, “the diaper is not removed; it is left behind when the child no longer needs it.” Another recommendation is the by pediatrician Anna Estapé, as well as her book , available in Spanish and Catalan.

We hope these tips, recommendations, and tools help you support your baby through potty training in a respectful and loving way.