Friendship among moms and dads
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They say: „Friends are the family you choose.“ Like any other relationship, friendships also change over time, often depending on individual life circumstances. Rarely is there such a significant change as the birth of a child, which initially turns everyday life upside down. In this article, you will learn how becoming a parent can influence your friendships, why it is especially important to have loved ones around you during this phase, and how you can find new Baby Buddies with the who are in the same situation as you.
How friendships change with becoming parents
On average, each person has three close friends and maintains about 12 to 16 more casual friendships. Perhaps among your friends are the kind of favorite people you've known forever and who have accompanied you through various life phases. Of course, you want this to remain the same once your little explorer is in the world. But especially in the first one or two years with a baby, quite a lot changes. Suddenly, a little person is at the center of your life, demanding a lot from you. There is little time and energy left for spontaneous meetings and activities. This can be unfamiliar to your friends and may even cause some to react negatively. At the same time, you have to find your way into your new role as mom or dad. It is possible that you suddenly feel misunderstood by childless friends who expect your relationship to continue as before and cannot be understood.
Good friends are very important during this time, despite or perhaps because so much changes with the birth of your baby. After the birth, you are at home with your child; times of day initially don't matter, and your daily routine mainly revolves around breastfeeding, changing, and carrying. Even if you and your partner now have your baby constantly with you, you may sometimes feel isolated in this new baby routine. Your friends are then a crucial point of contact outside the baby bubble: even if they don't have children of their own yet, good friends can offer you encouragement and reassurance when you're feeling unsure – after all, they know you as well as hardly anyone else. In moments when your world is limited from the changing table to the crib, they simply bring the world to you. Talking about other topics is good and helps you gain a new perspective. Especially when your own family lives far away, good friends are irreplaceable for new moms and dads. Your relationship with each other will undoubtedly change – but, in the best case, you'll get to know and appreciate your friends in a whole new way.
Maintain old friendships
Even those who intend that the new parenting role will not change their current life and old friendships will quickly realize: With the birth of a child, friendships are often redefined. No wonder, after all, with a baby, not only do your own priorities shift, but plans also require new flexibility. Some friends (with or without children) may suddenly be less present because their daily routines differ too much from yours. We have gathered some tips to help maintain contact with cherished friends in the new .
Plan, if possible, fixed time slots without the baby, during which you and your partner each spend time with friends.
Not all coffee dates work out when your baby is peacefully sleeping in the stroller. Instead, try to integrate your friends into your new life as a mom/dad by inviting them over for a meal or going on joint outings or walks with your baby.
Record data that is important for your friends in your calendar. This way, you won't forget to wish your girlfriend good luck for her interview or congratulate your boyfriend on their wedding anniversary in time.
Even if you could burst with pride about your child: also leave room in conversations with childless friends for other topics to show that you still have an interest in their lives.
You can show very special friends, for example, through a (official or unofficial) sponsorship: You are important to me, and I want you to also play a role in my child's life.
Shortly after birth, when your child is sick or teething: There are always times when meetings are difficult. During these phases, short phone calls or messages in between help to stay in touch with your friends.
Honestly talk with your friends about how having a baby has changed things for you and what you want to do to maintain your friendship. This also makes it easier for friends without children to understand you, and you can discuss your mutual expectations.
Finally: Don't put yourself and others under pressure. Every friendship has different phases, and many things will relax again as your child grows older. Then, short coffee breaks and phone calls will turn back into shared evenings and weekend trips.
Find new parent friends
Even if old friends continue to play an important role, the circle of friends often shifts with parenthood. Presumably, new friends are added—those you get to know through your little explorer and who have children of a similar age. Especially in the first period with a baby, it's helpful to exchange ideas with other parents and seek advice. It may be easier for you to share problems with other moms and dads who have gained comparable experiences and understand your situation. At the same time, it is easier to maintain contact with other parents who have a similar daily life to yours and your family. It’s especially wonderful when these parent connections develop into lifelong friendships and your child grows up together with your friends’ children. We have gathered some ideas on how this can work:
Pregnancy and parental leave offer many opportunities to meet other parents. Talk to other moms and dads who find you friendly in the childbirth preparation course , during postnatal yoga, or in the crawling class, just to say hello. Chances are good that they are also looking for like-minded people to connect with.
To ensure that parenthood isn't the only thing that connects you, similar interests are also important. Therefore, find courses, places, or events that are not only interesting for your child but also for you. In addition to music groups and sports courses, cities especially offer museum tours designed specifically for families with young children.
Find new Baby Buddies with the LILLYDOO App
Maybe you and your partner moved during pregnancy and still need to build your network, or perhaps at the playground or in the crawling class, there simply wasn't a mom or dad around with whom you "clicked." Then try it with the Baby Buddies Features of LILLYDOO App , with which you can find digital families near you that match your preferences. How does it work? Simply log in with your LILLYDOO account or register in the app. Then, you can create a profile with your name, age, and photo, and introduce yourself and your family in a short text. Now, just enter your postal code and set the radius for the search, and potential Baby Buddies Suggested nearby. If you like a family's profile, give it a "Like" by swiping right; to continue searching, swipe left. If you both find each other appealing, a match is created, and you can directly communicate via the chat function and get to know each other better. Who knows, maybe your Baby Buddy and you will become lifelong friends and soon face the daily baby routine together?
Becoming a parent marks a beautiful but also challenging phase of life. It's all the more wonderful when you share this with new Baby Buddies that you can share, whom you might never have met without your little explorer. Maintaining your old friendships may become a bit more complicated, but it is just as wonderful. After all, your friendship "family" is growing with a little person whom your friends will surely be happy to get to know.