Instead, when we encourage children to do for themselves the tasks they are capable of handling based on their age and stage of development, we do them a great service. Supporting children’s independence helps them become more self-reliant and gives them the confidence and initiative they need to keep learning, growing, and building healthy relationships.

Of course, the development of independence happens in stages. We can’t expect an eight-month-old baby who has just started baby-led weaning to clear and wipe down their highchair tray after every meal. It’s simply a matter of common sense.

In most cases, it is around 18 to 24 months that our little adventurers can begin to do certain simple tasks on their own, such as eating, getting dressed, or brushing their teeth. Once they brush by themselves, though, it’s important for an adult to go over their teeth afterward.

This is also a stage when children naturally feel the need to start doing things on their own. And they make it very clear with the classic: “Me, me, me!”

Let’s make the most of that eagerness to learn by encouraging and supporting them as they build their independence.

How Does Independence Develop in Young Children?

The development of children’s independence follows its own timeline, and that timeline is not exactly the same for every child. In general, it begins around the first year of life. By your baby’s first birthday at the latest, you will probably notice that the little one who once depended completely on you is becoming more and more of a little adventurer eager to explore the world.

Learning to walk and talk opens up entirely new possibilities for independence. Suddenly, your child can express what they want and what they do not like. They also no longer depend entirely on others to move from one place to another, but can begin to get around on their own.

The Autonomy Phase in the Second Year

In the second year of life, young children enter the autonomy phase in full, sometimes also known as the challenge phase. Your child becomes increasingly aware of their individuality and their own will, and they will make it known with the typical “Me, me, me!”

Although this stage can certainly bring its fair share of challenges, it is extremely important for the development of independence. Your child is learning to make their own decisions and, at the same time, beginning to understand that those decisions have consequences.

So, we can say that between 18 and 24 months, your little adventurer can begin doing some simple tasks on their own, such as eating, dressing, or brushing their teeth. As mentioned earlier, it is always a good idea to check their teeth again once they have finished brushing.

That said, every child is different, and some may need more support than others, especially up to the age of three. These differences in the pace of independence do not reflect intelligence or future abilities, so there is no need to worry.

Eight Tips to Encourage Children’s Independence

Children’s independence develops mainly through experience. What does that mean? It means that, unfortunately, it is not something that can be taught in the same way we teach children to add numbers or write letters. Children develop independence by doing, trying, repeating, and learning through experience.

That does not make your role as a parent any less important. Quite the opposite. Your role is essential in encouraging this independence and supporting your little adventurer throughout the process, helping them trust their own abilities and standing by them through both successes and setbacks.

With that in mind, here are eight practical tips to encourage children’s independence.

1. Encourage Your Child

Your little adventurer needs encouragement in every effort they make. They need to know that you believe in them as they try to become more independent. That is why it is so important for your child to see that you support them not only when they succeed, but every time they try, even when they do not get it right.

Remember: what matters most is not the final result, but supporting the process of gaining independence.

2. Give Them Space to Be Independent

As we mentioned earlier, parents often have the instinct to do everything for their children, especially when a task seems difficult for them. However, children’s independence requires lots of practice.

Whenever possible, hold back a little and give your child the chance to make certain decisions and carry out tasks independently, as long as there is no risk to their physical safety. And if you see that they need some help, try not to step in straight away. Instead, stay with them and help them look for possible solutions.

3. Give Them Time, Even When You Feel You Have None

Giving your child space is important, but so is giving them enough time to experiment and try new things. We know daily life is often rushed and it can feel like there is never enough time for anything. Still, experimenting and gaining independence require both time and patience.

4. Teach Them to Persevere

Who ever said putting on socks was easy? It is completely normal for children to get frustrated when something does not work the first time. In those moments, it is important to teach them the value of perseverance and of trying again.

A good way to do this is by showing them that adults do not get everything right the first time either. But when we keep trying and refuse to give up, improvement comes. Every failure is the first step toward success.

5. Be Realistic

As mentioned earlier, the independence goals you set for your little adventurer should always match their age and developmental stage. Being realistic is essential. If you give your child tasks that are too difficult, the only thing you will achieve is discouragement and a lack of motivation to try again.

6. Choose the Right Materials

Clothes without buttons or shoes with Velcro, for example, make it much easier for your child to learn how to get dressed and put on shoes than trousers with buttons or shoes with laces.

The same logic applies in many other situations. If your little adventurer is learning to eat independently, skip your best tableware and choose child-friendly plates, cups, and cutlery that are hard to break.

7. Involve Them in Everyday Tasks

Although there are some tasks your child may not yet be ready for, one great way to motivate them is to involve them in everyday family activities. Why not ask them to help set the table, cook, or take clothes off the drying rack? Children are usually delighted to do things alongside their parents.

You can also apply this idea during diaper changes. Ask your child to hand you the wipes for cleaning their little bottom. Or, when they are older, encourage them to put on their own LILLYDOO training pants, which are perfect for toddlers developing their independence.

8. Encourage Free Play

When children play independently, they are in control. This gives them the chance to test their skills, solve small problems on their own, and handle minor conflicts without adult intervention. Free play is not only fun, but it also helps build self-esteem.

So give your little adventurer the time, space, and opportunity to play freely.

There are few things more exciting than watching your child grow, develop, and reach new milestones on the path toward independence. Support your little adventurer’s autonomy with confidence, patience, and plenty of love.

And don’t worry, there is still a long way to go before they pack their bags and leave home. 😉