We're back! Preschools, elementary schools, and secondary schools are reopening: back to school is definitely an event to mark on the calendar! The days leading up to it can feel euphoric, frantic, and restless—a true mix of emotions, from wanting everything to be ready and perfect for the big day to feeling a little relieved after a summer spent 24 hours a day with your little ones.

A very common concern for many mothers is separation anxiety, but don’t worry: with calmness and a rational approach, you can keep everything under control and enjoy this new adventure with more serenity and carefree joy.

First day of school: maternal anxieties and separation tantrums

The end of summer and the beginning of a new school year can be stressful for both parents and children. Facing change inevitably comes with an emotional burden, and its weight can depend on the type of return to school : the first admission to the nursery , the transition to preschool , or the long-awaited first day of elementary school . Even a more minor change, like switching classes or schools, can trigger anxiety. These changes don’t just require reorganizing family routines; they also bring a wave of emotions that you need to recognize, manage, and keep in balance. This important task primarily falls on parents, who should try not to pass an excessive sense of distress on to their children as they begin this new adventure.

I cambiamenti si sa, spaventano perché non ci permettono di prevederne le conseguenze, si tratta di qualcosa che non conosciamo e per questo motivo temiamo ancora di più.

One helpful way to face this fear is to make the new environment more familiar for your child. Visiting the new school can be a great way to “get a feel” for this new reality, which may not be as frightening after all. Looking at the drawings hanging in the windows, the garden around the building, and the children playing calmly and happily together can spark curiosity and help your child feel closer to the new adventure.

First day of preschool and separation anxiety: how to encourage the separation

The first day of preschool represents the first true separation for mother and baby. Even with the gradual introduction periods that usually take place with a parent present, it can still carry a significant emotional burden. The feeling of sudden emptiness and the return to work commitments can increase maternal anxiety, along with practical concerns about managing new schedules and unexpected health issues (which often become more frequent with a new social life at nursery).

The positive side of this new adventure is how much your little one will surprise you, day after day, as they gain autonomy and build relationships with peers through play. It’s also worth remembering that the nursery’s educators del nido are trained to support your child’s peaceful growth within the community, and the days are planned and paced with rhythms designed for their well-being.

And if tantrums become persistent at the moment of separation, how can you calm the child and the mother's anxieties?

Below are some solutions you can adopt to ease your little one’s fears:

Short goodbyes: when the time for separation approaches, always let your little one know you’re about to arrive at the nursery. Keep farewell rituals brief, and avoid picking them up or giving them one more kiss. At the same time, don’t sneak away from the nursery suddenly!

Create a ritual; it can be helpful, before parting, to have a small routine that marks the moment of farewell, such as a very specific phrase. "Mom loves you and will come back to pick you up after work" , followed by a hug or a kiss. Repeating it at each separation can be a helpful way to reassure your child.

Do not dismiss their anxiety; it’s important to acknowledge your child’s fears. Phrases like the following can help: “I am sure that you will have fun here at the nursery, but if you ever feel sad, you can tell the teachers, and they will give you a big hug.” .

First day of preschool: skills, autonomy, and identity

The transition from the nest to preschool may seem less traumatic than the first real separation, but it isn’t always! While it’s true that preschool also includes onboarding periods, they are often much quicker and vary from institution to institution.

And here your little one suddenly finds themselves in a new environment, with many children—often of different ages—and with fewer educators than they were used to in the cozy bubble of the nursery. For more anxious mothers, the initial fear may be that you’re leaving your child in a chaotic and unsafe place, but that’s not the case. In a short time, your child will surprise you with how quickly they gain independence and with their desire to socialize with other children, even older ones.

First day of elementary school: rules and duties

And before you know it, the first day of school arrives!

Worries about the beginning of primary school can vary from one mother to another, depending on personal experiences and background. Try not to pass these emotions—whether positive or negative—on to your child; this should be their own experience. And so, the long chapter of preschool education comes to an end, making room for the educational journey that will accompany your little one into adulthood: a path made of rules and duties that shouldn’t frighten them, but instead be understood as a way to learn new things and grow, full of stimulation.