Playing with all the senses and Montessori
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Once you have a baby, completely new questions will arise in your life, and suddenly you'll be thinking about topics you never would have considered before. It's a wonderful, exciting time, but we also understand if your head starts to spin at some point!
At LILLYDOO, we believe that you will surely make the right decisions for yourself and your little explorer. But also that it doesn't hurt to occasionally seek advice from people who deal with these questions daily and are experts in their field. That's why, in this series of articles, we want to ask experts the questions about pregnancy, birth, and parenthood that all of us have on our minds.
Playing with all the senses
Dear Sarah Maria, what does "playing with all senses" look like?
Parents should not think of toys in a one-dimensional way, but consciously encourage children to experience their environment and toys with all their senses. This means, concretely, that books can also be put in the mouth, crochet rattles are not only to be felt but can also produce a rattling sound, and so on. This principle also applies to larger children and other toys. Listening to the music made by the child's guitar with closed eyes or deliberately observing the colorful colors not only brings a great deal of mindfulness into everyday life but also invites children to use all their senses.
And what does "free play" mean?
Free play primarily aims to give children the opportunity to play in a safe environment – without following detailed instructions from parents or other caregivers. Here, they can let their run free. Toys and playthings can be used as children imagine. No rules need to be followed, and repurposing is completely fine. A teddy bear can become a microphone or the toy car a “baby” pushed around. We adults often have a clear idea of how certain things should be played with. If we interfere as little as possible in children's play, we give our children the chance to nurture and express their natural curiosity – exactly as they want. Another tip for free play is to focus on “stuff to play with,” i.e., everyday objects, instead of toys. Often, it only takes a few Tupperware containers, a wooden spoon, the sock drawer, or other “stuff” you have at home. When children are allowed to play freely, they turn simple everyday objects into their own magical world with a lot of imagination.
The Montessori concept
How can the Montessori concept support these two approaches?
In the Montessori concept, there is the often-quoted phrase "Help me to do it myself." And this mentality can also be implemented playfully. The principle of free play is also reflected here, because it is largely about creating a safe environment for children where they can learn to solve everyday challenges and tasks through play. The Montessori approach therefore strongly advocates for a child-friendly (and other areas of the home, such as the hallway or bathroom). When toys and clothing are stored in a way that the child can access them independently, they will increasingly be able to and choose what they want to play with on their own.
Playing with all the senses also plays a major role in Montessori education. Especially listening to music together, making music, and the tactile exploration of the environment are central here.
What can I do as a parent to support my child's free play and exploration?
As mentioned above: for free play, you don't necessarily need . Children often discover the most beautiful toys in everyday objects. We adults often already have a clear idea of what our children should play with and how exactly they should play with certain toys. However, if we give our child space and time to choose what they want to play with, we can quickly observe what our child truly enjoys playing with. To discover the preferences and interests of one's own child, it is therefore sensible to offer a wide range of toys early on and observe how the child interacts with everyday objects. From this, one can then infer whether the next purchase should perhaps be a ball, a rattle, or a teddy bear.
At what age should my child also sometimes playing alone and keeping oneself busy can?
The so-called free play is something that every child already engages in to some extent from the very beginning. Also, observing the environment or putting their own hands in their mouth at five months old is a playful way for a child to perceive their own body. While children under one year old usually do not engage in solitary play for more than 5 to 10 minutes, a three-year-old child often plays alone for between 30 and 60 minutes. As with many aspects of childhood development, it is important to remember that each child has their own pace. And while one child may especially enjoy drawing and crafting, another might spend hours looking at books alone or building towers. With some time and a variety of free play options, parents can generally find out what keeps their child occupied even for a moment alone. But it is important to keep two things in mind: what fascinated them yesterday can become boring again in a few days – this is completely normal. Children love discovering new things just as much as playing with their favorite toys. The second important point: even during free play, children should never be left completely alone until a certain age. In other words: even if parents are not actively playing, they could, for example, sit on the sofa and read a book while the child sits alone on the carpet next to them with building blocks. This provides the initially outlined safe framework that children feel – and need – to fully immerse themselves in free play.
What are the benefits of "mindful play" in everyday family life?
Practicing mindful handling in everyday life is mainly about perceiving the things around us with undivided attention. Especially in the busy family routine, this can help us to be more present in the here and now. For example, when we are playing on the playground with our children or cuddled up on the sofa reading a book, we should be in the moment – and not constantly drift away with thoughts about the to-do list or even check emails on our phones in between. also involves the realization of saying: “Hey, the pile of laundry waiting at home already annoys me – and that’s why I’m in a bad mood right now.” When we allow and communicate such feelings, they gradually fade into the background. And then we can enjoy very everyday small moments much more consciously.
How does gender-sensitive education work in this concept?
For many parents, gender-neutral upbringing is now a fundamental attitude that encompasses almost all areas of life. It’s not just about the colors we dress our children in. It’s also about the language we choose and the qualities we attribute—or do not attribute—to our children. For me, gender-sensitive upbringing ultimately means that my child is allowed to be just as they want to be. They can wear the clothes they like best, dream what they want, and play what they enjoy. Therefore, I find it important to always stay in dialogue with our children. When we listen to them and observe them, we quickly notice what they prefer to play with and what excites them most. Specifically, it helps if parents are aware that we have certain stereotypes in our minds and tend to tell girls to sit still and be good, and to take care of their little brother—while boys are “just roughhousing,” need to learn to be angry, and so on. Rethinking this requires effort! My tip is to ask yourself more often: Would I say this if my child were of a different gender? Would I buy this outfit for a boy/a girl? Am I signing my son up for soccer because I know he wants to play, or am I just assuming that all boys love football? Why do I only buy a Barbie for my daughter? Does the children’s shower gel in blue with the knight on it have to be that way? This list could go on forever!
Gender-sensitive gaming
In gender-sensitive parenting, gender-neutral play is also an important aspect. How can families implement this in everyday life?
As long as we can still mostly choose what our children play with, we have the option to opt for gender-neutral toys. This can mean choosing toys that do not conform to stereotypes like blue and pink - or using anti-stereotypical toys. Dolls are great toys for every child, just like cars and excavators.
By the time they reach kindergarten, it often becomes difficult to keep our children away from gender clichés and stereotypes. But maybe that's not a problem – because this way, we can actively engage in dialogue with our children and our environment and question the status quo.
How much toy does my child really need, and how can I promote free play/playing with all the senses through the appropriate toys?
Of course, it's difficult to give an exact number of how much toy our children really need. For many, it can certainly be answered with – "less than expected." More and more, it can be observed that children sit in cluttered playrooms and are overwhelmed by the sheer variety and do not want to play at all. Here, it is worth trying the following: All toys are stored in boxes that are kept out of the child's reach. Each week, some toys are taken out and placed in the child's room. Then, you rotate through – only providing a part of the total toys at a time. Often, you will see that the principle "less is more" already applies to children's toys.
Another rule of thumb is: if you try to cover different forms of play (puzzles, accessories for role-playing games, classic board games, dolls and stuffed animals, art supplies, etc.) and also appeal to different senses with this toy, then you are well equipped. To promote free play, the most important thing is to allocate enough free time in daily life for children, during which they can decide entirely on their own what they want to engage with – from toys to everyday objects.
Dear Sarah Maria, thank you very much for the helpful tips and inspirations for mindful play! Every child's room looks different, and at LILLYDOO we know that no one can completely overhaul everything overnight – and that's okay! But maybe you could take away a few ideas on how you can play freely and beautifully together. We wish you lots of fun!