The topic of baby sleep is probably on the minds of many new parents: Is my child sleeping too much or too little? When will my baby sleep through the night? How long should a nap last? And what helps when the baby isn't sleeping?

Our LILLYDOO expert, Heike vom Heede, answers these and other questions about babies' sleep needs and sleep rhythms in an interview. She is a qualified social pedagogue and, among other things, offers support for parents in Düsseldorf to help both children and parents enjoy restful nights.

Sleep needs and sleep rhythm

Dear Heike, how much sleep does a baby need?

A newborn needs approximately 16 to 20 hours of sleep per day. The need for sleep is so high because birth is a major adjustment for the baby. Your baby first has to learn to orient themselves in this new world and process all the impressions. Gradually, the need for sleep decreases. Many babies need only 15 to 18 hours of sleep after about three weeks. At six weeks, a big leap often occurs, and your baby will have more wakeful periods from then on. Sleep needs then range between 16 to 17 hours . I would like to emphasize: Every baby is unique. Therefore, it is not unusual if your baby sleeps a little more or a little less.

We can only hope that children meet their sleep needs—for themselves, for their development, and for their emotional well-being.

How does the sleep rhythm develop in babies?

In newborns, you can assume that about 1.5 hours after waking up, they will become tired again. A consistent sleep rhythm usually establishes itself from the fourth month of life . Typically, there are three sleep times : in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night. If you're lucky, your baby will now sleep at night for 8 to 12 hours . But it's never really about sleeping through the night—it's about rest and sleep phases . Breaks for feeding, wrapping and cuddling are part of it. Between the first and second year of life , each child's individuality becomes very evident again. Often, a long nap becomes established, and the short power naps disappear.

And here as well: Every child is unique . Sometimes a sleep rhythm only establishes itself later or changes over time. How exactly it develops also depends on various factors. These include, among other things, the conditions you create as a parent, everyday life, and the birth, as well as the first days in the new world .

Afternoon nap

How long do children need for a nap?

Here's the answer quite simple: As long as your child can fall asleep easily in the evening, I would keep the afternoon nap for years. . Your little explorer will show you when they no longer need the extra sleep. From then on, you can introduce a lunch break for the whole family, where you all take a few minutes to calm down together.

Children often need a bit more time to wake up after the afternoon nap because they are still in the sleep-dream phase. Keep this in mind and give your child time to wake up on their own.

Is there a "good" bedtime?

It's great if you try to establish fixed bedtimes. Evening routines give your child a consistent rhythm so they can feel secure and settle down more quickly. Since different processes occur in children's brains compared to ours as adults, I recommend a bedtime until school age between 7 PM and 8 PM .

Sleeping place

What is a good sleeping place for babies?

At the beginning, your little explorer should be very close to you . Babies learn to find calm through the proximity of their parents and can better recognize their rest phases. A nice way to support this is swaddling . By letting your baby fall asleep close to you, you give them a great deal of warmth and security.

Your child should first get to know their sleeping place and learn their sleep times. As the outside world grows bigger, it is comforting when your child knows for sure: "Here I have peace." But never approach this dogmatically. The sleeping place can also sometimes be the stroller or the travel cot when you're on the go. It is important that your child has established rest periods and that the sleeping place is preferably darkened .

I recommend to parents that the child sleeps in your room until the first year of life. Whether your baby is in the family bed or sleeps in their own bed is your own decision . But nothing is set in stone when it comes to sleeping arrangements: if your little explorer is crawling over you and your partner in the family bed after six or seven months, you may want to change the setup. In that case, your child will probably sleep much more peacefully in their own little bed—and so will you.

Tips for restless nights

What could be possible reasons for restless nights?

Restless nights can have various causes. For example, it can be related to the birth experience , or your child may be stressed and simply needs time to arrive in the world. As soon as you feel uncertain, you can seek support. If your baby doesn't sleep at all at night or during the day, then the midwife or the pediatrician is the first point of contact . Next, a professional sleep consultation, in collaboration with the pediatrician or a sleep clinic, can help. Sometimes the sleep situation improves quickly, and sometimes it takes a little longer because the child needs time to adjust.

But not every restless night is a cause for concern. Is your little explorer, for example, currently in a phase? During a growth spurt , restlessness and poor sleep are not uncommon. If your baby sleeps poorly over an extended period, a sleep diary is a good way to observe the nights and identify problems. A template for a sleep diary is available here for you:

What can parents do when the baby isn't sleeping ?

My tip for parents: stay calm . If you want your child to calm down, you need to stay calm, too. Don't fall into constant rocking or trying out different sounds. If a child is very outward-focused—for example, by listening to stories or the sound of the sea—they often have a harder time calming down on their own.

In general, a regular sleep rhythm and consistent evening routines can help your child relax more quickly and learn when it's time to sleep.

How do you help parents and children in your sleep consulting?

I always look at the whole picture in my consultations: the child, the family, pregnancy, birth, and the first arrival into the world. I would never provide the same consultation in different households.

For me, when it comes to sleep for babies and children, it is essential to advise parents not to be influenced by the many advice books and opinions. As long as you and your partner are doing well, everything is in harmony. However, if you fall into persistent exhaustion and your child still wakes constantly at ten months old, then it is worth seeking professional help to get to the root of the issue.

I wish you all—big and small—restful nights!