Becoming a father: The birth of triplets

When it comes to topics related to pregnancy and childbirth, it is natural that expectant mothers are often in focus. No wonder, after all, they do something truly amazing during birth. But what about all the dads who support them along the way?

We want to give fathers a voice in this column! Every two weeks, a different dad shares his very personal perspective on the birth. Preemies or multiples? Water birth or ? Our LILLYDOO dads share their very personal birth experiences and have plenty to tell.

The probability of having identical triplets is 1 in 200 million. For Christian and his wife, this little miracle actually became a reality. The triplet dad from Eupen (Belgium) shares with us the birth and the first weeks with his three boys and explains why this time was also accompanied by many worries.

1. Have you prepared yourself in any way for the birth, and do you feel that it has helped you in any way?

A traditional was not attended by us, as our midwife advised against it. She said that we would only be unnecessarily dealing with fears that do not concern us, since as parents of triplets, we already have enough on our plate. Firstly, because it was clear from the start that the little ones would be born prematurely, and secondly, because most of the issues associated with a 'normal' birth were not relevant to us.

Instead, we were provided with many helpful infos by the university hospital to prepare us. We had an appointment at the clinic where the pediatricians showed us the ward and informed us about the process during and after the birth. This way, we knew pretty much what to expect. Only the timing was still the big question mark. This (guided) tour definitely helped me a lot. In this way, I was not so shocked by the intensive care unit, I had already met the senior physician, and there was already a personal connection, which gave my wife and me a good feeling.

2. How did the birth go and how did you experience it?

Babies can survive outside the womb from the 25th week of pregnancy. Our triplets were born in the 27th week. The doctors had already delayed the birth to allow the boys to stay in the womb for as long as possible. However, such an early birth was still necessary because Louan, our youngest, had issues with supply and wouldn't have lasted much longer. As a result, our start was somewhat overshadowed, as we naturally had great concerns.

During the cesarean section itself, I was present, but I have to say that I don't remember any details afterwards because I was so focused on my wife. The room was also completely full of people. Because it was a triplet birth, doctors, midwives, and anesthetists all seemed to be present in triplicate. Adam, Rémy, and Louan were then taken directly to another room for examination. After all vital functions were secured, I was allowed to go see them. That was a somewhat strange moment because they were all so tiny and were wearing oxygen masks. Louan, the lightest, weighed just 650 grams. By that point, I was already very worried about the three of them and, of course, about my wife as well.

This was because Adam, the oldest, had a brain hemorrhage on the second day after birth. As a result, alongside the early birth, concerns about Adam also arose. Processing all of this was not easy for us, and at first we couldn't really rejoice that the boys were finally here. Fortunately, they and we received excellent care. We were assigned a psychologist who supported us very well with our fears. When the children were then transferred from the intensive care unit to the neonatal ward after about 2.5 months, we knew they were basically out of danger. From that point on, we were able to truly allow ourselves to feel the joy about the three of them. Louan and Rémy still had to stay in the hospital for another month, and Adam was there even a bit longer, totaling about four months.

3. Is there something you would do differently during the next birth?

There have probably been situations where I could have done something differently. At the same time, so much has happened in such a short time that I think we actually handled everything quite well in hindsight. We were also really well advised, so I am actually quite satisfied with how everything has gone and have no regrets in that regard.

But since we are betting on our next children being born, we have decided not to have any more children. ;) Three are enough for now. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to experience another birth, I definitely wouldn't be afraid anymore. The nurses and doctors at the university hospital have built such a personal relationship with us – after all, the little ones spent almost three months in the intensive care unit – and have supported us so well that we would fully trust them in the event of another birth. This way, both of us would probably approach the whole situation much more relaxed next time. At the same time, of course, this also means that we couldn't imagine any hospital other than the University Hospital Aachen.

4. What would you recommend to other dads for childbirth preparation?

My biggest tip (especially for parents of multiples) is to stay calm and trust the doctors and hospital staff. Multiples are usually born as preemies, and especially when they are in the intensive care unit, you shouldn't be alarmed by every beep. It often beeps there, and not every alarm sound indicates something negative. The nurses and staff also assured us that they would come immediately if something serious was happening, and that was indeed the case. This trust in the staff gave us a certain inner peace, which I also wish for all parents who find themselves in a similar situation.

I am often asked how it was after the birth with the triplets. However, I truly believe that the difference between having no children and having one child is such a big change that having two or three babies isn't much different anymore. Of course, it is often hectic and sometimes you wish for two more hands. But overall, I can reassure parents expecting twins or triplets about this. However, I must also say that fortunately, we have very easy-to-care-for sons. :)

Furthermore, during the difficult initial period, we received help from our family and friends. They often took over tasks like shopping, walking the dog, etc. Having a child is a huge new challenge, where life changes from one day to the next. Therefore, one should accept help from others and allow oneself to be supported during this time. We are very grateful to our friends and family for continuing to lend a helping hand.