Sex and contraception after childbirth

Some couples can hardly wait to sleep together again, while others prefer to take their time. Often, the very thought of the first time after childbirth evokes a mix of feelings—anticipation, excitement, and uncertainty. The questions of when you can have sex again, how to prevent pregnancy, and whether it's normal to simply not feel interested are answered for you in this article.

When is sex possible after childbirth?

Every couple has their own pace, and there is no prescribed time when you must start feeling desire again. From a medical perspective, there is only one thing that is recommended: you should none Lochia more have. It usually lasts between four and six weeks - this applies both after vaginal deliveries as well as after a Cesarean section . Because with the end of the lochia, the postpartum wound healing process is likely completed, and the risk of infections and pain during intercourse is reduced. Also, to the Cesarean section scar then you don't have to worry anymore, since the external wound usually heals well after three weeks.

Do you have Birth injuries like a Damaged , you should also have peace in the Postpartum enjoy and minimize the strain on injuries. This also means that you should best You abstain from penetration for 6 weeks , to give your body the necessary time to heal.

If you're unsure about how far along your healing process is and whether you can have sex again, your midwife or your gynecologist can help you. But even if your body is ready for sexual intercourse again, it doesn't mean that you have to be mentally and emotionally ready for it right away.

Loss of libido after childbirth

With a child, a lot changes in life, including your own sexuality and intimacy as a couple. For many new mothers, sex is completely out of the question in the first weeks and months after birth – after all, your body has gone through some hardships and, especially after delivery, undergoes a major adjustment that requires time and rest. Additionally, many moms' attention is initially entirely focused on their little explorer, and simply, there is no time and energy: When your baby is briefly sleeping, there are a thousand other things to do, and sex often takes a back seat for many. So, you're not alone if you feel a lack of desire and sex doesn't play a big role in your thoughts right now.

The exact reasons why you don't feel like it can vary greatly and differ from woman to woman. So it may be that physical causes behind it, and for example, pain that takes away your desire for sex, or you're simply overtired, or hormonal changes cause a Baby Blues worries - here it means having patience, because these things pass and then the desire usually returns. But even when the pain and hormonal chaos subside (the Fatigue will probably still be your companion for a little longer ;)), it may be that your libido still isn't quite back to normal. For many mothers, the desire for physical closeness with their partner decreases, as this is replaced by closeness to the baby through cuddling and Breastfeeding already exhausted. Perhaps you also don't feel quite as comfortable in your body after the birth, because your body image may have changed – be patient with your body and try to learn to love it again. And you're probably thinking more about your body than your partner, who still probably finds you beautiful.

Whatever the reasons for your loss of libido may be, Communication with your partner is now the be-all and end-all. Talk openly about your wishes, needs, worries, and insecurities together. For example, explain to your partner how your body awareness has changed and what they should pay attention to in the future. Take all the time you need until both parties feel comfortable – no one should be pressured. Some couples find it helpful to Appointments for sex to agree so that you don't forget the important couple time amidst everyday stress. Maybe you'll find the necessary motivation and a quiet moment where both of you can relax. But even with a scheduled time, the fun with each other should come first and not the "obligation".

And Sex does not necessarily mean penetration . You can also become intimate in different ways and explore each other with tenderness: gradually build up and start with cuddling, kissing, massages, and petting. Maybe it helps you if you begin by stimulating yourself with clitoral stimulation and thus rediscover your body. Try to relax and not to overthink. It is important that you do not put pressure on yourself or your partner to make sex work perfectly right away. With a little patience and a willingness to experiment, you will surely find ways to be close again.

Tips on how you can rediscover joy in sex

Train the pelvic floor

It is possible that penetration after childbirth feels completely different — less intense, painful, or barely noticeable. Every woman experiences penetration differently. It is common for the genital area to feel looser and softer. This is because your pelvic floor muscles are weakened by pregnancy, and during a natural birth, the skin of your vagina, ligaments, and pelvic floor are stretched even further. With you can strengthen your pelvic floor again, which not only helps prevent bladder weakness but also restores sensation.

Use lubricant gel

Vaginal dryness is a common problem after childbirth. However, in most cases, this is not a cause for concern but is due to the low estrogen levels during breastfeeding. To ensure you enjoy sex and to prevent pain caused by dryness, simply use a lubricant. Try out different products and see which one you like best. However, be cautious with oil-based lubricants, as they are not compatible with condoms.

Satisfy before sex

You're close to climax and suddenly drops of milk are leaking from your breasts? That is certainly unusual at first, but completely harmless and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. It is completely natural for you to secrete some milk when you are aroused or having an orgasm. It can help to nurse or pump before sex. If the milk bothers you a lot during intercourse, you can wear a bra with nursing pads.

Your breasts have changed due to pregnancy. Talk with your partner about how your breasts feel and whether you want to include them during sex. Because especially during breastfeeding, many women experience sensitive breasts, sore nipples, and possibly . Often, the desire for additional stimulation from your partner is not very strong — but it can also be nice to feel touches on your breasts that are not from your baby. Listen to your body and do what feels good.

Test different positions

Just after the first time after birth, you may feel more comfortable and secure if you try positions during vaginal sex where you can control and steer how deep the penis or the sex toy penetrates. Kindly ask your partner to proceed gently and change positions as soon as you feel pain. With a little willingness to experiment, you'll surely find the perfect position for you both.

Contraception after childbirth

After the birth, it's time to take a deep breath. To allow your body to recover and the family routine to settle in, you should wait at least six months after an uncomplicated birth and at least one year after a cesarean section before becoming pregnant again. Before the first time, you should discuss contraception with your partner. Which contraceptive method is right for you mainly depends on when and how you will have sex again. In a conversation with your gynecologist, you can clarify which method is best for you.

Contraception during the lochia

Regardless of whether it's petting or sex with penetration — if you want to sleep together during your period, then condoms or Wipe cloths a must to protect you from vaginal inflammations and other infections and of course also your partner/your partner. Also special gloves from latex or nitrile can prevent bacteria from your hands from reaching your genitals. Especially if you're still a bit sore, gloves can be comfortable during manual stimulation, as they protect against long fingernails or rough spots like calluses or corns.

Contraception during breastfeeding

To be protected against another pregnancy even during breastfeeding, you should not rely solely on breastfeeding as a contraceptive method, but take additional measures. Here is an overview for you of contraceptive methods that, when used correctly, provide reliable protection and do not affect milk production and quality:

The first time having sex after childbirth is exciting. You discover your body and your sexuality as a couple completely anew. Don't put yourself under pressure and create space for the so important couple time. Even if you initially feel a few uncertainties, you'll surely regain your old confidence and be able to enjoy sex to the fullest.