Since birth, you’ve been cuddling your little one and spending your days one-on-one. Then comes the day you leave them for the first time. Returning to work, a weekend away with your partner, or starting daycare—trusting someone else with your baby isn’t always easy. Many parents dread this moment, especially young mothers who feel a very special physical bond with their infant. In this article, we explain why it can be so difficult to entrust your child to someone else, and we share our tips for navigating those first separations.

Why do we fear separation?

If you find it difficult to temporarily entrust your little adventurer to someone else, rest assured: this is completely normal. The challenge of accepting this new situation often comes from a fundamental human need to hold on to what feels familiar. So, feeling anxious about separation from your child is natural—just as it’s natural for some people to find it easier to let go; after all, we’re all different! ;) In general, gradually separating from your little one is an important step in their development. It helps a child learn to see themselves as an independent person, to discover new things, and to build relationships with people outside of their parents.

Nevertheless, some parents worry that a temporary separation from their baby could create emotional distance. They may fear their little one will feel abandoned, or they may doubt that someone else can care for their child as well as they can. This apprehension is sometimes tied to a deeper fear of losing control: what if the grandmother, nanny, or babysitter doesn’t respect your parenting principles and you can’t intervene? In other cases, this concern simply reflects the fact that your baby is growing up and will soon need you less.

Often, we aren’t fully aware of why separation feels so painful. So, take a moment to honestly ask yourself what makes you hold on so tightly to your little one. Once you identify the reasons, it will be easier to manage your apprehension.

How to manage the anxiety of separation from your baby?

The first step is to be aware of and accept separation anxiety . Don’t feel guilty if other parents find it easy to entrust their child to someone else. And it works both ways: you’re not a bad father or mother if, from time to time, you enjoy spending time without your little one! ;)

Feel free to talk with other parents in your circle; they’ve likely experienced the same apprehension and can share how they handled it and got through those first separations. Also, try to see the person you entrust your baby to not as a substitute, but as someone enriching—someone with whom your little one will experience new adventures outside their usual environment. This can be beneficial for you, too: having time for yourself can help you breathe and focus on your own activities. Finally, remember that letting go doesn’t mean you aren’t there for your child or that you’re abandoning them—so try to let go of the guilt. :)

How to prepare for the first separations?

The following tips will help you get through your first separations calmly:

• Proceed step by step : no one expects you to go from being together all day to being separated for an entire afternoon overnight. That would feel too abrupt for both of you; you need time to accept the idea that you won’t always be together. Start with a short separation—for example, leave your little adventurer with your mom for half an hour while you do something in the next room. Knowing your little one is nearby with someone you trust can help you let go. Then, gradually increase the time you spend apart. Many nurseries use this approach during adaptation days, as it helps not only parents but also children slowly build trust and get used to this new situation.

• Faites-lui prendre l'habitude d'être avec d'autres personnes : the more your child is used to being around people other than their parents, the more comfortable they’ll become spending time without you and meeting new faces.

• Breathe in confidence : children have antennas! They can sense the emotions of those around them. So, if you’re worried about leaving your baby with someone else, they’ll feel it; separation may become painful for them, which can make you feel guilty and make goodbyes even harder. To avoid this vicious cycle, try to stay positive about this new experience.
  Share your joy and confidence with your little adventurer by reassuring them and explaining that you’ll be back in a few hours.

• Focus on the moment of reunion : to make separation easier for you and your baby, highlight the reunion when you say goodbye. « I will come to pick you up in two hours » sounds more positive than « I will be absent for two hours ». :)

• Do you have free time? : even if it’s difficult at first, take advantage of these few hours alone to focus on your work, take care of your activities, or enjoy your tête-à-tête with your partner. After a few hours apart, your reunion will be even more joyful!

You’ll likely need some time to get used to being apart from your little adventurer. It probably won’t be easy, and the process may include a few setbacks—both for you as a parent and for your baby. But over time, you’ll see that your child will increasingly enjoy making new connections in a new environment and embracing their growing independence. And your reunions will be all the more beautiful! :)