The French term “doudou” refers to a small square of cloth , or even a unfilled plush toy , which, before being given to the child, remains in contact with the mother and father, capturing their scent; the doudou becomes a transitional object and helps the newborn manage separation from parental figures , especially in the moments before sleep, but not only.

Doudou: what is it and where does the tradition of this transitional object come from?

A tradition from France that is also becoming increasingly popular here is the doudou; it can take the form of a simple piece of cloth, perhaps featuring a small animal's head, a doll, or a teddy bear. Your child will choose their favorite doudou, one that can inspire confidence, protection, and security and help them overcome early fears and small moments of separation from mom and dad .

The teddy bear thus falls into the category of transitional objects , and the first to highlight these symbolic objects was the English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, who linked them to the child's subjective reality and their objective perception of the external world, which separates the child from the mother. As we mentioned earlier, it is the child who chooses their favorite teddy bear from those available, experiencing for the first time a loving relationship outside of that with their parents: it could be the one with the softest fabric, or the one rich in familiar scents of home or parents, or the one they can suck on most easily. In short, a true and proper cuddle to always carry with you to soothe their separation anxiety.

Doudou and children: instructions for use

A purchase before birth

For some parents, and especially for some expectant mothers, the idea of purchasing a

Avoid leaving the doudou with the newborn during the first few weeks of life

Another important thing to consider is that during the first weeks of the newborn's life, it is not recommended to leave the doudou in the crib , because it could come into contact with the child's face while they are not yet able to move independently . This may not be safe for your child's health, so it’s better to postpone introducing the doudou until at least 3–4 months , when you can keep it under your control.

Yes to the doudou from 6 months onward

In the first six months of life, the newborn has an exclusive relationship with their mother and father and does not yet have the ability to distinguish them from other people; between six and eight months of life, the baby begins to realize that these figures are individuals separate from them who have their own lives, and that they can be separated and then return . It is precisely at this delicate moment that the child's awareness of separation from the maternal figure first emerges, and this is where the transitional object comes into play. The doudou can be helpful during all those phases of separation, depending on individual needs , from starting nursery, during nighttime sleep, up to preschool.

When is it possible to wash the doudou?

But if the doudou’s purpose is to soothe your baby through the scents it holds, how and when can you wash it?

Many of you are probably wondering about this, because everyone knows how attentive mothers are to their children’s hygiene and care, and the idea of that increasingly dirty piece of cloth that gets dragged around both indoors and outdoors—and then ends up in your child’s mouth—doesn’t exactly put you at ease. Still, you can wash your child's beloved friend from time to time; it’s best to do so during the day, because nighttime is often the most delicate time for little ones. Remember to choose gentle, neutral soaps and detergents.

And if we lose the doudou?

It can happen, dear parents, without needing to carry too much guilt; life is increasingly hectic, and even a simple walk outdoors can be an opportunity to lose a beloved doudou. Don’t worry! For the youngest children, you can opt to buy two of the chosen doudou, so you have a spare in case of loss or breakage.

And if the child is a bit older, honesty with your child is the first step that helps them process the loss. They will be old enough to understand that they can also be without their little friend.

You can ease your child's sadness by trying a few small ideas, such as framing a photo of them together with their doudou, or having your child create a drawing of their doudou to hang in their room as a sweet keepsake.

Does your child have a ?

Frequently Asked Questions