Every day is a discovery: they learn something new. Our children grow so quickly and, step by step along the path of life, they fill us parents with pride. The first smiles, the first word, the first steps—every day is an achievement. All parents burst with happiness when they see their little explorer trying new things. However, every child has their own timing: some are early walkers, while others have a way with words that leaves everyone else open-mouthed. Our little explorers are not all the same—we know that well; nonetheless, some parents can’t help comparing their child to other children.

How many times have you heard someone say, “Oh, but he doesn’t talk? Mine started very early!” or “Yes, we’re sending him to a bilingual school—our child already speaks two languages fluently!”? Unpleasant, isn’t it? And it doesn’t stop there: parents can immediately feel comparison stress, which brings a thousand doubts and makes them wonder whether they’re really doing everything possible for their little one.

Why do parents compare their children to each other?

The reasons for comparisons can be many. Some parents are simply so proud of their children that they can’t help praising them, and they don’t even realize they’re making other parents feel insecure. However, there are also parents who compare because they feel insecure themselves and therefore seek reassurance from other moms and dads—wanting to hear that they’re doing well, that they’re good parents, and that they’re not making mistakes.
Social networks, where millions of families share their lives, have amplified this phenomenon in both directions. Some parents, while scrolling through social media, constantly compare their children without even realizing it. Others look at other people’s lives (often only the most beautiful parts—let’s remember that!) and fall into despair because they don’t feel up to par. The problem is that, unfortunately, it is our children who bear the brunt: Parents who are inclined to constant comparison unconsciously raise their children as if they were in an endless race in which they must, at all costs, excel. In this way, the child doesn’t make progress out of natural inclination, but because they want to please their parents.

How to support children in their growth

1. 
   Reward effort, not just results.
   

2. Don’t ask for too much: the requests you make and the activities you propose must be appropriate for your child’s age.
   

3. Avoid overwhelming them with too many stimuli. School, two sports, and maybe a piano course—children also need time to rest and dedicate themselves to the activities they choose. Some parents feel the need to fill every empty slot, forgetting, for example, that free time can also spark creativity!
   

4. Ni siquiera intentarlo, nosotros mismos primero, para ser padres perfectos. You get tired, and you make mistakes, too. There’s nothing wrong with that—on the contrary. A child with high-performing parents may grow up focused on performance for their whole life and may struggle to handle even the smallest failure.
   

Confrontations with parents: three good reasons to face them with a smile

1. 
   Can help you improve: ¿Tu hijo todavía no habla? No debería ser un problema, sino más bien una motivación para animarlo más con ejercicios de lenguaje. ¿Aún no ha empezado a caminar o, si es un poco mayor, no quiere aprender a montar en bicicleta? Intentemos ser más tranquilizadores y preguntarle si quiere que lo acompañemos en esta nueva aventura, respetando su ritmo.
   

2. Can help you solve some issues. Maybe, between one chat and another, you discover that your little explorer isn’t the only one with that particular difficulty that keeps you from sleeping peacefully, and that there are parents who have solved the problem before you.
   

3. Can help you discover new activities for your child. Take, for example, those parents who boast so much about their little prodigy who can play the guitar at only two years old.
   Let’s set aside the child’s talent for a moment and reflect: have you ever wondered whether your little explorer might also enjoy learning to play an instrument?
   Maybe not, but it’s a great opportunity to let them try and perhaps discover that they, too, could become a little musician.
   
   

With sports or creative workshops you can discover their inclinations

And if the little explorer spends a lot of time in the nursery?

In this case, comparing notes with the teachers is one of the most valuable things you can do. To accept suggestions constructively, you need to adopt an attitude of listening, without becoming defensive. Remember that you chose to send your child to that particular nursery because you also considered the teachers competent. Trusting the suggestions they give you is essential.