Mom, Dad, and six children

Our day begins at 4:30 a.m., and from that moment on, life is in full swing. Making beds and airing the rooms, washing and dressing the children, starting the first two loads of laundry, having breakfast, administering Noah Lias’ medication. Then saying goodbye to everyone and taking the little rascal to kindergarten. On the way back home, doing some shopping. At home, unloading and reloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash. Then Jonas, who is training to become a chef, goes to work for the first time. He works in two shifts and is also driven to and from work by us in the evening. Once back, it’s time to clean and tidy up, occasionally changing a diaper, comforting after a quarrel, making calls to authorities and doctors. After picking up the rascal from daycare, there’s lunch at home, followed by a midday rest. Around two o’clock, we pick up the older one from his first shift. Afterwards, our snack time takes place, where treats are allowed. Fruit, chopped up, is available on our dining table all day. When everyone’s belly is full of chocolate, the afternoon program begins: most of the time, we go outside, to our garden or into the forest. In bad weather, we stay indoors, singing or crafting and playing board games. While I cook dinner, the little ones are allowed to watch TV. Around six o’clock, we eat. We always start the meal with a table rhyme, and everyone shares about their day. Depending on work hours and shifts, Markus might also join us. After eating, the little ones are prepared for bed, and then it’s time for the rascal and the two little ones to go to sleep. I then tidy up and handle the laundry before picking up Jonas from his second shift. If we’re not completely exhausted yet, we watch TV or read. A thorough cleaning is done on Saturdays, and everything that can’t be managed at the moment has to wait. Shared activities and time on weekends, when Nici is also with us, are more important to us than a perfectly mowed lawn.

Why I would choose a large family again and again

If I were asked what life as a large-family mom has taught me, I would clearly answer, "Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out of it alive anyway." In other words: I try not to get upset over trivialities – there are far more important topics than dusty bookshelves. I am truly a passionate mom and sometimes feel that many parents nowadays have too high expectations of life with children. They want to offer them as much as possible and sometimes forget that it is often the small things that make children happy. I believe that life in a large family makes my children incredibly strong. Because they grow up with siblings who, despite all the quarrels, are lifelong companions. They learn to sometimes hold back and not always be the first. And they grow from these experiences. Sure, they probably also find it annoying to grow up with several siblings. And they would all love to send everyone else to the moon. But in the end, it’s simply nice that we all have each other.

On International Family Day on May 15th, LILLYDOO wants to celebrate family. Because family is one of the most beautiful and important pillars in life. But not all families are the same. And that's a good thing! Five families – representing the enriching diversity of families that exist – have given us insight into their lives. We are excited to share their fascinating and very personal stories with you here. Maybe you'll see yourself and your family reflected in one or two places? But even if your family looks very different, it surely also brings that extra dose of happiness and love into your life.

This time: Rea and her husband Markus, both 37, have a total of six children. In our article, the large-family mom shares her lively everyday life near Flensburg.

Large family, what does that even mean? With how many children is one considered such? And is it justifiable in today's times to have a large family? These are questions that my husband Markus and I keep asking ourselves! Whether it's because our environment is interested in our lifestyle or we are questioning ourselves. When I learned about LILLYDOO asked if I would write this post on the occasion of their action for International Family Day, I was really very pleased, because it is always nice when genuine interest in life with many children is expressed.

We are a lively large family from the far north, living in a village with 3000 inhabitants near Flensburg. Markus (37) and I (also 37) have been a couple for 9 years and have a total of six children. I brought two children into the relationship: Jonas (16) and Emily (14). Markus's son Nici (12). We have two shared children, Noah Lias (3) and Jonna Luna (2), and a foster son (4), whom we affectionately call "the rascal" in this post because we are not allowed to mention his name.

Markus himself comes from a large family, with five siblings. I knew early on that I wanted to have children, and preferably in large numbers. As cheesy as it may sound, children are actually my absolute life purpose. As a teenager, I earned some pocket money by babysitting, later I looked after day children and then worked as a family helper before my husband and I decided to take in foster children. So, it has always been about caring for and supporting children, and Markus and I see this as our life mission.

Große und kleine Hürden

I would be lying if I claimed that life as a large family is always easy and that everything runs smoothly on its own. In our case, the model of "living with many children" also includes the fact that we are a patchwork and foster family, and our three-year-old son Noah Lias was diagnosed with epilepsy just over a year ago. Each factor alone is associated with certain challenges; combined, it means daily work and effort to keep the family life functioning. Ensuring that none of the children are left behind and that everyone is treated as fairly as possible. Recognizing the individual characters, personalities, and wishes and adjusting accordingly. For example, my oldest daughter Emily decided last year, after eleven years with me, to live entirely with her father for a change and not just experience him as a weekend dad. A decision that is understandable but also very sad for me. But we don’t just want to talk in theory about paying attention to our children’s individual needs and accepting them—we want to live this principle. And so, there are daily smaller and larger difficulties that Markus and I have to overcome as a large and patchwork family!

When people in our social environment hear that we have a total of six children and also take in foster children, the reactions range from amazement and respect to skepticism and prejudices that are sometimes hard to get out of people's minds. Many simply cannot imagine that everyday life with more than the usual two-child families in our society works. That one perceives this task as an enrichment and not solely as a burden. That it is not seen as a restriction that you cannot go on vacation every year, that a weekly grocery shopping quickly costs 300 euros, and spontaneous trips to the cinema are not an option. We can understand that people have certain concerns and prejudices, and we also enjoy discussing them and are open to criticism. However, for us, "the tone makes the music," and it sometimes happens that we have to deal with insulting comments. But we really have to say that we mostly receive positive reactions, and even the idea of expanding our family further is received encouragingly.

Our large family everyday life

Everyday life as a large family certainly differs from that of a family with perhaps only one or two children. However, our pillars, which shape our day, are definitely adaptable to other family models as well. We have very structured routines, boundaries, rules, rituals, and structures. These help the children and us to avoid sinking into chaos, to not miss appointments, and to create free spaces alongside all the tasks.