Tips for expectant dads during pregnancy

Congratulations, you're going to be a dad! You're probably experiencing an emotional rollercoaster right now, and numerous questions are running through your mind: Will I be a good father? How can I support my pregnant partner? How will our relationship change? Heike vom Heede offers tips in this article for this special and unique time, as well as suggestions on how you and your partner can enjoy the pregnancy together and how you can find your way into your fatherly role.

Our LILLYDOO expert Heike vom Heede is a graduate social pedagogue and offers at her Family Institute Heike vom Heede in Düsseldorf pregnancy and parenting support as well as individual family counseling on all nutrition, family, and parenting questions. In her Parenting Course Prepares expectant parents comprehensively for the time after birth and for life with the newborn, covering topics related to baby care, health prevention, as well as parenthood and staying partners.

Tips for finding your way into the father role

The moment when the is positive triggers different reactions in everyone – some are overwhelmed, others might be more surprised. Of course, the best thing is when you can celebrate this special moment with your partner. Hold her in your arms and honestly tell her how you're feeling right now. She's probably even a little more excited than you, after all, a new life is growing inside her.

Now begins an exciting and emotional time. With my tips, I want to help you settle into the role of father well.

Sort your thoughts

My first piece of advice for expectant fathers is, to catch one's breath first , after you have celebrated the moment of the positive test: go for a walk or jog to clear your mind before you Spreading message in your environment . In the second step, write it down for yourself, what fatherhood means to you and what you associate with the word „Papa“. Consider how you see yourself as a father to a toddler and an older child.

Get tips from a father

Do you have a good relationship with your own father or father-in-law? Then let us tell you how they arrived at their father role. For example, talk about what your father wanted to pass on to you and whether he would have liked to do something differently. A conversation with a friend who has already become a father or is waiting to become one can also help. It is important that you exchange ideas with like-minded people – and this should be not about giving advice, but rather about listening . This way, you can find out what appeals to you or doesn't and get inspiration around the topic of being a dad.

Learn to deal with your fears and worries

Here, too, pen and paper can help: write down your fears and worries so you can visualize them. Try to get rid of the head cinema. . If it is about specific questions, you can ask them next time Gynecological visit or discuss it with your midwife. Talking to qualified professionals usually helps many expectant fathers to calm down. Additionally, it is helpful if you accompany your partner to the prenatal classes accompany to learn more about the process of pregnancy and Birth to find out.

Find contact with your baby

Gently place your hands calmly on your partner's stomach from the beginning and let them stay there for 10 to 20 minutes. This way, you start building a bond with your baby early on. The further the Pregnancy The more you progress, the more you'll notice your little explorer cuddling into your hands. Your partner can also feel carried by your touch. This triggers feelings of happiness, and with these wonderful emotions, your shared bridge of parenthood grows.

Likewise, you should plan one to two hours each day after the birth during which your baby is only dressed in a lying on you, you hold it, and enjoy. Feel free to also include your partner in this cuddle time.

Visit a baby store

Maybe you go shopping alone early in pregnancy. the first romper or the first little hat . Think about how small your baby will be and what it will do first to put on becomes – this triggers emotions and you might initially be surprised by your feelings. And it is this overwhelming feeling of "I'm going to be a father" that your partner will sense. It will do her good to notice how happy you are about becoming a dad.

Tips to support your partner and strengthen the relationship

Not only finding your own fatherhood role may be a challenge, but also the pregnancy itself. It may be that you are required from the very beginning to support your partner. And that is a wonderful task.

Here are some tips on how you can help your partner and enjoy this unique time together.

Accept help

You don't have to do everything alone. Especially if your partner is having a difficult pregnancy. She might even be bedridden at times and in need of more help. Feel free to bring a good friend or the on board.

Don't forget to stay with yourself throughout the pregnancy. Take some space to breathe u and continue with your favorite sport, for example. Those who can distance themselves from a situation can then handle it much better again.

Surprise her with little things

With small gestures, you can bring joy to your partner: a nicely set breakfast table or morning tea in bed. Likewise, a little something else does the trick. Compliment more good as well as a Hug more than usual. Cuddle and pamper your partner and try to understand her feelings of chaos.

Take care of the organizational stuff

Not only physically and emotionally can you be an active support for your partner, but also in everything else: a shared Budget Planning , the Setting up the children's room and the purchase of the Initial Equipment . And you can already plan the time after the birth. Especially then is a organized household very important. In the rooms where you mainly stay, it should be nice. Because chaos creates unrest, and it is difficult to enjoy each other's company. So, it's best to plan in advance who can help you with household chores or how you will distribute the tasks. It is also sensible to decide in advance where your love spot should be. Because a drying rack in the bedroom or the Children's bed can inhibit the romantic mood.

Talk about uncertainties

It's okay if you occasionally feel overwhelmed during pregnancy. If you experience moments of helplessness, discuss them with your partner and question, what you can do to make her feel better . Sit down together, hold each other, and talk. The clearer you communicate, the stronger your bridge of togetherness becomes.

Introduces a culture of conflict

During pregnancy, there may be a period when disagreements occur more quickly. It's almost a bit like puberty. You need to rediscover and get to know each other – after all, you don't know each other yet as an expectant father or mother.

Disagreement is allowed . This usually creates a new bond, and often after a thunderstorm, the air between you clears again. During pregnancy, it's nice if you resolve a disagreement approach your partner more . Take a moment to step back from the situation and then approach it, instead of insisting on your point of view. Always seek the way to come together. A shared culture of conflict can be helpful for this. For example, introduce the rule of not going to bed without resolving everything beforehand, to start the new day well. This way, disagreements cannot take up much space in your relationship.

However, if you are stuck in disputes, dare to seek help . These can be offers such as a video call with me, the visit to a Counseling center or conversations with friends and family who may have been in a similar situation before.

Try a new kind of closeness

During pregnancy, your partner may not feel like being close or being intimate. This is naturally difficult, but you should definitely not take the lack of desire personally or feel offended. Show understanding instead of blaming or pressuring her.

Through a loving language You can find your way back to more closeness and tenderness. For example, tell her what you like about her and tell her how much you miss her touches and how much you enjoy feeling her hand on your arm. Let your partner understand that you desire closeness and not necessarily eroticism. Before you touch her, always ask if it’s okay at that moment. And it’s also very important to occasionally wordless communication Look into each other's eyes deeply and wait to see what happens. Often it tingles just like before – I wish you that!

And another tip for togetherness: watch a nice movie together and cuddle while doing so. I highly recommend the movie “Babys”.

Learn more about how intimacy changes in the articles "" and "".

Be happy that the dream of a family has become a reality and allow the cheesy novel to live with you a little. I wish you a wonderful arrival into fatherhood!