Partnership and sex during pregnancy
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Whether planned or unplanned, pregnancy always brings changes to the partnership. Especially with the first child, when a couple becomes a family, pregnancy often marks a transitional period in many relationships to prepare for the new situation and to enjoy the last moments as a couple for now. In this article, you will learn about the potential effects of pregnancy on the partnership. Additionally, you will find the answer to the question of whether sex is possible during pregnancy and what changes it entails.
Partnership during pregnancy
Vor welche Herausforderungen stellt eine Schwangerschaft die Partnerschaft?
Besides the joy and pride of soon becoming parents, it can of course also lead to on both sides Questions, uncertainties, and fears coming. While you as a pregnant woman already early on feel the physical changes and a physical connection to your baby, your partner can only perceive the pregnancy from the outside with a growing belly, the first ultrasound image, or the first noticeable baby movements. Therefore, the fact that you are expecting a child together may initially remain an abstract thought for your partner and can lead to them feeling left out or even superfluous in the first few weeks. However, your partner is probably just as concerned as you are about the new situation and wonders whether they will be able to fulfill their future role as a parent.
The common Responsibility , which a child brings with it, can introduce an obligation into the relationship that may not have been present before. Consequently, questions may arise that were previously not relevant. All these changes can lead to conflicts in a partnership, which may be further intensified by mutual expectations and external pressure. Of course, it is equally possible that your pregnancy and the prospect of having a child together will bring you and your partner even closer and positively influence your relationship.
Wie kann ich mit Ängsten und Zweifeln umgehen und meine Partnerschaft stärken?
Even if every relationship is different, there are some things you and your partner can do to respond to or proactively address typical conflict situations during pregnancy. Many couples find it helpful to approach the new situation by making concrete plans and discussing their shared future: How do you envision the upcoming time? How do you both see the division of responsibilities and what are your ideas about child-rearing and living together? First, consider your own thoughts about your own Ideas and Expectations to do so and then communicate this to your partner helps to avoid misunderstandings.
Some couples find it difficult when one partner seemingly reacts less emotionally to the pregnancy than the other. Of course, it is important to accept that everyone handles pregnancy and the upcoming parental role differently – nevertheless, open, partnership-based communication is also helpful here. Talking to your partner about your feelings and sharing your doubts as well as your anticipation helps both of you to empathize with each other and to understand each other's behaviors.
Just as important as strengthening mutual connection is to continue pursuing your own needs and (emotionally) taking care of yourself. This makes it easier to approach each other in case of conflict and to make compromises when it matters.
Welche Möglichkeiten gibt es, die Schwangerschaft als Paar gemeinsam zu erleben?
Shared activities and outings are a great opportunity for your partner to show their support and to actively involve them in the pregnancy at the same time. We have gathered some ideas on how you can experience and share the pregnancy together:
Going to the doctor together: Ultrasound examinations are a wonderful opportunity for your partner to connect with your baby; keep in mind when planning that your partner, unlike you, does not have the right to time off from work for prenatal appointments.
Attend a childbirth preparation course together, where you can prepare for a shared birth experience
Enjoy a relaxing belly massage with your partner and together follow the movements of your baby
Live out your (or your ;)) nesting instinct and prepare the nursery together for your baby's arrival
Choose a name for your little explorer: with the baby name finder of the LILLYDOO App you will find your mutual favorite based on the principle "Swipe, like, match!"
Plan a shared Babymoon or (short) vacation with a baby bump, giving you the opportunity to consciously enjoy togetherness, peace, and relaxation once again
Fixed dates and activities for two, where it's not about pregnancy and babies, and which deliberately focus on your relationship
Sure, you will also find your own ways to spend the waiting time for your baby together. :)
Sex during pregnancy
In addition to the relationship in general, pregnancy can also specifically affect the sex life. In the following section, you'll learn what exactly can change. However, the most important question first ;):
Ist Sex in der Schwangerschaft möglich?
The answer is: Yes! Although the persistent rumor still exists that sex during pregnancy is harmful to the baby, many expectant parents at least in the initial phase shy away from becoming sexually active. However, the concern that your baby could be harmed during this is completely unfounded. The uterus is securely closed from the outside by the mucus plug during pregnancy, and your baby is well protected inside.
The fear that sex during pregnancy can lead to an early birth is also generally unfounded. While it is true that prostaglandins contained in male semen have a labor-inducing effect, they can only stimulate contractions when your body and your baby are also ready for birth. If the , sex is actually recommended and used as a method of induction. But you don’t need to worry about that beforehand.
An active sex life is possible during the nine months, when both of you feel like it, and apart from some medical exceptions, nothing stands in the way. On the contrary, intimate togetherness can even have a positive effect on your well-being and consequently on your baby. During sexual arousal, the hormone oxytocin is released, which is also known as the love and bonding hormone and strengthens the sense of togetherness between you and your partner.
Wann ist Vorsicht geboten?
Although there is usually nothing against sex during pregnancy, there are some medical circumstances under which caution is advised:
Infections, bleeding, premature labor, or pain
If you are suffering from placenta previa or have had a water break
In the first third of pregnancy, if you have already experienced an early miscarriage .
In the last trimester of pregnancy when there is a risk of preterm birth
If one of the points applies to you or if you're unsure whether you can continue having sex without concerns, it's best to ask your gynecologist or midwife for advice.
Wie kann sich Sex in der Schwangerschaft verändern?
With the numerous changes your body goes through during pregnancy, it's no wonder that it can also affect your sex life. During pregnancy, your entire body and your sexual organs are more richly supplied with blood. This can increase your desire for sex and lead to more intense experiences of touch and orgasms. Other women, on the other hand, may find touches to their genitals and breasts now uncomfortable or painful. Share with your partner what you find particularly pleasurable now and what you do not like; after all, they cannot know how the tenderness feels for you.
Another physical change associated with pregnancy is the increased production of vaginal secretions, which enhances lubrication. Many couples and especially expectant mothers also report that the need for security and physical closeness grows during pregnancy.
The physical changes can influence your sexual desire differently during the various phases of pregnancy. In the first trimester, around half of women experience a decrease in sexual desire due to , morning sickness, and fatigue.
If these symptoms subside in the second trimester, most pregnant women feel more comfortable again, and in more than two-thirds of women, libido increases again. Now, the physical changes are usually also visible from the outside. Some women feel comfortable and beautiful in their pregnant body, while others find it challenging. It is quite possible that your partner finds the change in your body during pregnancy exciting and fascinating. However, some people may also feel uncertain about their partner's physical changes and the thought of the shared child. In such cases, it can be helpful to consider together how you can still approach each other or whether there are other ways to experience closeness and tenderness together.
I'm third trimester For many women, sexual desire decreases again due to the growing belly, increasing immobility, and other physical discomforts. When some positions become uncomfortable or strenuous towards the end of pregnancy, a bit more creativity is needed during sex. Suitable positions for pregnancy include the spoon position (side-lying), the rider position, the doggy style (kneeling position), sitting sex, and oral sex.
Ultimately, every pregnancy and every relationship is unique, and as a couple, you need to find your own way, even in the changed situation of being together. If you communicate your wishes and needs and approach each other openly, you will surely soon find out together how intimacy and sex can look during pregnancy in your relationship. We wish you all the best on your journey from a couple to a family!