« Birth is the most beautiful day of your life. », « As soon as you look at it, all the pain is forgotten », « You will see, its smiles are worth all the effort » … This ideal image of the happy, radiant new mother is often conveyed to expectant mothers. Indeed, how could you not be overwhelmed by a wave of happiness when you see this gentle little being? But often, the exact opposite happens shortly after birth: between 60 and 80% of mothers experience the baby blues in the first days, and it generally strikes quite unexpectedly. But don’t worry: as quickly as this mood swing appears, it usually becomes a distant memory just as fast.

In this article, we explain which symptoms may accompany the baby blues, what causes them, and how you can cope. You will also discover the difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression, two terms that are often mistakenly used as synonyms.

Symptoms

The baby blues occur within the first three to five days after birth and last between one day and a week. Usually, the symptoms disappear on their own after a few days, and sometimes even after just a few hours. It often shows up as increased crying; however, the following symptoms may also occur:

• Depression

• Emotional sensitivity

• Mood swings

• Unexplained irritability and aggression

• Anxiety

• Increased worries about your baby

• Concentration problems

• Mild insomnia

• Loss of appetite

The causes

The appearance of the baby blues has nothing to do with whether or not you love your newborn, or with being a bad mother. The cause is simply physical. During the first days following birth, your hormone levels drop sharply , which can briefly bring your spirits down. Baby blues are therefore not a mental disorder, but a normal stage in the process of your body's transformation. During pregnancy, estrogen and progesterone levels in women are very high. These two hormones are responsible, for example, for placental growth and the formation of the uterine wall. They also prepare your body for milk production. But they also affect your mood: estrogen stabilizes mood, while progesterone relieves anxiety. When the levels of these two hormones in your body drop rapidly after birth, you may feel sad and depressed. In general, this feeling lasts until your hormone levels return to normal.

The uncertainty related to your new role as a mother can also intensify the symptoms. The birth of your little one has likely exhausted you, especially since they need your attention every two hours. In addition, everything is unfamiliar, and you have not yet found a rhythm together. You may also feel uncomfortable in your body due to lochia or your now softer belly, or you may worry about whether you will be able to handle your new role as a mother. Crying helps your body release all this tension . Moreover, some mothers manage to sleep only a few hours because of the exhaustion it causes.

The remedies

Since the baby blues is not a disease, there is no medical treatment, and it is not even necessary. Generally, the symptoms resolve on their own after a few days. Some actions can help you get through the baby blues phase:

• Rest and sufficient sleep : the saying « tomorrow is another day » proves true in many life situations. According to Sissi, a midwife at LILLYDOO, being well-rested and taking time to rest can have a preventive effect.

• Self-acceptance : many women feel guilty for not being thrilled about the birth of their child. They wonder why they don't immediately feel that strong emotional connection with their baby that people often talk about. Try to accept how you feel right now, and don’t feel guilty. Once your hormone levels stabilize, you'll feel better. Similarly, as you and your little adventurer get to know each other, the connection between you will develop naturally.

• Confide in someone : you don't have to go through this period alone. Share your feelings and your state of mind with your loved ones, whether it's your partner, your mom, or a friend. A comforting word or a hug can also work wonders.

• Support from your environment : during a phase when you are temporarily emotionally overwhelmed, it can be helpful for your partner to take care of household chores, for one of your parents to bring you a cooked meal, or for your best friend to do the grocery shopping. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; people often underestimate the comfort these gestures can bring.

• Close contact with your baby : use your post-birth stay to spend plenty of time with your baby. Skin-to-skin contact, in particular, is very important for quickly establishing a bond between you and your little one. Cuddle him as much as you want!

If the symptoms do not resolve on their own, it could be a sign of postpartum depression. Unlike the baby blues, this is a serious condition that can lead to suicidal or infanticidal thoughts in the most extreme cases. Therefore, always consult a doctor if you notice that your condition lasts longer than a week.

Did you know? Some dads also experience the baby blues. The causes have not yet been fully elucidated, but according to recent research, hormones seem to play a rather minor role. Lack of sleep, stress, new constraints, and difficulties in finding one's place within the family trio appear to be the most important factors. The symptoms are similar: sadness, sleep disturbances, irritability, and fear of not being up to the task. If these symptoms persist, it is also advisable to consult a doctor.

We hope these highly emotional moments will soon be just a distant memory; in a few days, your spirits should be back to normal.
Then, you will once again be able to look forward to an exciting future with your little adventurer.