We call weaning the moment when a baby permanently stops breastfeeding. There are many types of weaning and, above all, many different reasons why a woman decides not to continue breastfeeding, including social, cultural, and biological factors.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusive breastfeeding until six months and, after that, continuing for at least two years in combination with other foods. But recommendations are one thing, and the wishes and circumstances of the mother and baby are quite another. It should be clear from the beginning that breastfeeding is a relationship between two . This means that when breastfeeding doesn’t continue, sometimes it’s due to the mother’s decision, and other times it’s due to the baby’s. And that’s okay!

Another point to consider is that weaning is not only a change in the baby's diet, but also a shift away from the place where they find calm and protection, where they often fall asleep, and where they build that special bond with their mother. That is why we recommend doing it in a respectful and gradual manner, unless a medical condition makes it impossible.

Depending on each mother, baby, and the timing of weaning, it can be more or less challenging. Often, it is more difficult for the mother than for the baby, and mixed feelings of sadness and guilt may arise, which can sometimes be hard to manage. In this article, we want to tell you about the different types of weaning and give you some suggestions so that the process is as smooth as possible. But first, we want to tell you: relax! You're doing wonderfully, and both you and your baby will succeed in moving on to the next stage of your relationship.

Types of weaning

Voluntary weaning

It can happen at the mother's or the baby's wish . There is no such thing as the perfect moment; each case should be individualized, setting guilt aside. Sometimes it is the mother who decides before the baby is ready; other times, it is the baby who decides when the mother is not prepared, especially on a psychological level. It is important to remember that this is a personal choice, and all options are respectful.

Forced weaning

Sometimes weaning must happen suddenly due to medical reasons or other illnesses (whether of the mother or the baby). In this situation, it is important to have specialist healthcare support in breastfeeding to avoid major complications, and especially psychological support, as it can be very traumatic, particularly for the mother.

One of the biggest myths is that you cannot breastfeed if you take certain medications. Often, healthcare professionals give incorrect guidance due to a lack of up-to-date information. The vast majority of medications are compatible with breastfeeding, and it is important to rely on verified information that is always based on scientific evidence, not outdated advice.

Weaning by the baby's decision

Occasionally, babies decide to stop breastfeeding . It is rare for this to happen suddenly, but it can occur, and it is often more shocking for the mother because she is unprepared. Other babies do it more slowly, gradually losing interest in breastfeeding and reducing demand until it stops completely. Some babies start nursing only once a day, then once every several days, until they simply stop asking for it.

One of the most common examples is the arrival of a new pregnancy , since there is usually a change in quantity and flavor. This may not be your case, but it is a situation that occurs frequently. Others, on the contrary, continue nursing even when that new sibling arrives and, if the mother wishes, practice tandem breastfeeding , in which both babies breastfeed.

Weaning by mother’s decision

There are many reasons to make this decision, the most common being returning to work, social/family pressure, medical/psychological reasons, pain, among others. This decision can be made at any time, but as we have indicated above, we always recommend a progressive decrease in suction , as occurs during gradual weaning: the less sucking, the less production, until it stops completely. From an emotional point of view, gradual weaning is also easier for the child. Some children replace these needs with a pacifier or by sucking their finger; this should not worry you, as it is simply a comfort that helps them cope with this new situation.

However, night-time is usually the most challenging time to wean, since the baby's sucking produces melatonin that helps induce sleep. If your baby always falls asleep this way, it might be a little more difficult to change this routine, but don't worry—you'll get there. To start night weaning, we recommend that the partner/caregiver be the one to begin offering the bottle, as babies recognize their mother's scent and may become more upset. When the time comes, your little adventurer may complain during the first few days; this is normal and will pass. Be patient and respond to their needs. Gradually, you will adapt together.

False weaning

Sometimes the baby may show less interest in the breast without actually weaning, and then return after a few days to the usual routine. This can happen for different reasons; the most common are the baby being sick, the mother returning to work or being away for other reasons, the baby's development leading to more distraction, a change of environment, among others.

Breastfeeding strike

Sometimes a child may suddenly decide to stop breastfeeding; this can happen for various reasons and is called a breastfeeding strike . It is uncommon and is usually associated with a change that has happened abruptly. We recommend analyzing the situation and identifying the possible reason that led the child to make that decision, so you can address it and try to return to your routine. Sometimes it is simple, and other times it requires a bit more effort. Try offering the breast when both of you are calm, talk a lot with your baby, keep the room softly lit, avoid distractions, and most importantly, make sure your baby is not too hungry so they don’t become even more upset. During the breastfeeding strike, you can offer expressed breast milk with a syringe, a small spoon, cup, or bottle until your baby resumes breastfeeding directly from the breast.

Suggestions for weaning

First of all, keep in mind that every woman and baby are different, so it’s best not to compare yourself with other families who are going through weaning or have already been through it. If you feel you can’t do it alone and you have doubts or fears from the beginning, we recommend seeking advice and support from specialized midwives so that, once your case (number of feedings, baby's age in months, time to return to work...) has been assessed, you can receive personalized guidance. That said, here are some suggestions for carrying out weaning in a respectful and gentle manner for both of you:

• Distraction: anticipate the moments when you know your baby usually asks for the breast, and distract them with games, walks, offering something new, singing, among others. Let your imagination run wild!

• Do not offer, nor reject: try not to offer the breast, but also don't refuse it if your baby asks for it. Patience!

• Substitution: offer a bottle or food, in case they are already 6 months or older and have started with complementary feeding , so that they don't come to the breast too hungry. It's not about removing breast milk, but about offering other foods, as long as you ensure your baby consumes the amount of milk they need according to their requirements.

• Postponement : this option is usually offered to babies who already understand and accept that you will delay feedings or replace them with something else. Some examples include putting strips on the nipples and telling the child that mom's breasts are not feeling well, or applying creams to the nipples with a color, smell, or taste that is unpleasant for the baby. For example, in some countries, mothers apply aloe vera to the nipple, since many children don’t like its taste. These strategies are neither good nor bad, better or worse; they are simply effective.

• Request help: As we have already mentioned, you don't have to go through this process alone. Ask for family support, create a community with other mothers who are in a similar situation, and seek professional help to try to avoid complications such as blockages, mastitis, among others.

We hope this article is helpful to you, at least to put your mind at ease. Weaning is a process that will come sooner or later, and when the time comes, you'll do incredibly well.