Becoming a father: 10 tips for childbirth preparation for men

When it comes to topics related to pregnancy and childbirth, it is natural that expectant mothers are often in focus. No wonder, after all, they do something truly amazing during birth. But what about all the dads who support them along the way?

Over the past nine issues of this column, we have given fathers a voice. Every two weeks, a different dad shared his very personal perspective on the birth. One question that always interested us: What would our LILLYDOO dads recommend to other expectant fathers for birth preparation? In this article, we have summarized their best tips and also our midwife Sissi shares her very personal advice for all men preparing for the birth.

1. Deal with the topic of birth

Tip from Constantine und Gerald : Whether in a childbirth preparation course, using relevant literature, or on the internet: Find out about the Process of childbirth , familiarize yourself with possible complications and consider the decisions to be made (for example, regarding places of birth or medical interventions). This way, you won't be caught off guard by unexpected situations on the day of the event – or at least fewer of them. ;)

2. Communicate with your partner

Tip from Constantine : Exchange ideas with your partner beforehand. How does she envision the birth? What are her fears? What does she wish from you? This way, you avoid misunderstandings and frustration, and can approach this special moment as a strong team. But even after the birth, communication is key. Perhaps you've noticed things that have (temporarily) changed your view of your partner. Or you're having trouble settling into your new role as a father. None of this is something to be ashamed of. Talk to her about it so she knows what’s on your mind right now.

3. Pack your own hospital bag

Tip from George : Not only for the expectant mother is childbirth a strenuous and potentially lengthy process. After 8 hours of contractions without enough food and drink, you probably won't be able to support your partner as well anymore. Moreover, this experience is also emotionally overwhelming for you. Therefore, prepare your own Clinic bag in case the birth takes place in a hospital or birthing center. With enough water, some snacks, and comfortable jogging pants, you are well prepared.

4. Have basic trust

Tip from and : It is completely understandable that you are worried about your partner when you see her in severe pain. It helps to remember that childbirth is a completely natural process that millions of women have already endured without harm. Try to regain your innate trust in the power of nature and recall it during the birth.

5. Be the calm center

Tip from Tilman und Andreas : In hectic hustle and bustle in the delivery room or when your partner reacts irritably out of exhaustion, it doesn't help anyone if you also become frantic, nervous, and impatient. Instead, try to be the rock in the surf and her source of calm for your partner.

6. Be consciously aware of the special moment

Tip from Gerald : Turn off your phone once and try to experience the beautiful event of birth as consciously as possible. Your friends and family don't necessarily need a minute-by-minute update. ;) After all, you don't see new life being born every day, so you can be fully present with yourself and your partner in this special moment.

7. Trust in the clinical staff

Tip from Dirk and drilling daddy Christian : The midwives, doctors, and nurses in your hospital have already assisted with hundreds of births. Trust in their expertise, because what is new, exciting, and perhaps even nerve-wracking for you is everyday life for them. Of course, doctors are also only human. So if something doesn't feel right for you and your partner, don't hesitate to ask questions and, if necessary, critically examine their decisions.

8. Be the mouthpiece of your partner

Tip from LILLYDOO Midwife Sissi : If you have followed tip number 2, you are well acquainted with your partner's wishes for the birth. If your wife is completely overwhelmed by the pain during labor and can no longer advocate for her needs, be her voice! Articulate her wishes to the hospital staff and advocate for her preferences.

9. Prepare yourself to first find your footing in the role of father

Tip from Christian : At the time of birth, your partner is almost nine months ahead of you, during which she has built an intense bond with your baby. Some dads also find it difficult during breastfeeding that they cannot meet the baby's needs themselves. So be gentle with yourself if it takes a few weeks to get used to your new role.

10. Find your own way

Tip from Marius : One dad wants to prepare for all eventualities before the birth, while the other makes him even more nervous. For one, a home birth is the ultimate, while for the other, this idea causes panic. Don’t let yourself be unsettled and find the way that feels right for you and your partner. Sometimes, despite all advice, you just have to do your own thing. :)

With this closing word, our column "Becoming a Father" comes to an end. We thank all the dads who openly share their birth experiences with us. And to those men who have this special experience still ahead of them, we wish all the best for the upcoming exciting time!