Especially in early childhood, the pediatrician is often the first point of contact—not only in case of illness, but also for questions or uncertainties. However, a doctor’s visit doesn’t always go smoothly, as some children associate it with tension or even fear. To help your toddler stop seeing the pediatrician as a threatening situation, it’s important to know how to handle their anxiety in the best possible way. In this article, we share tips to help your child overcome their fear of the doctor’s visit and make the examination as comfortable as possible.

Where does the fear of visiting the doctor come from?

First of all: fear of visiting the doctor is nothing unusual in children. After all, they’re confronted with an unfamiliar environment and unknown people who get quite close to them in a short amount of time. Some babies even protest loudly when a doctor touches them with cold hands or when they’re poked during an injection. Usually, though, the negative experience is forgotten by the next examination.

Children begin to consciously perceive a doctor’s visit—and may find it unpleasant—around the age when stranger anxiety starts. As soon as someone who isn’t a close caregiver gets too close and crosses your child’s natural distance threshold, their protective mechanism kicks in, and they may react with fear or aggression. It’s actually a great reflex—only in this case, the unfamiliar person is the doctor, and of course, nothing malicious is intended toward your little explorer.

At around two years old, many toddlers reach the age where they want to assert their independence through resistance and may fight examinations with hands and feet.

It may also happen that your toddler initially handles all visits to the pediatrician calmly, but then the mood suddenly changes, and examinations are accompanied by crying and screaming from then on. In such cases, fear of visiting the doctor is often linked to the onset of the terrible twos or stranger anxiety.

In addition to these rather vague fears, it’s also possible that your toddler consciously associates a visit to the pediatrician with pain—for example, due to a previous examination that hurt. Another trigger can be your own tension: your toddler has a keen sense of when you’re nervous before an appointment. In that case, your restlessness can be passed on to your child.

How does the fear manifest itself?

Fear of visiting the doctor shows up differently from child to child. While some become very shy and withdraw, others react with crying, screaming, or even aggressive behavior. For some children, the fear even shows up as physical discomfort (stomach aches, dizziness, or vomiting). In general, children’s fears are usually expressed much more directly and immediately than adults’. Special therapy—for example, to uncover the fears—is usually not necessary.

In this video, pediatrician Ariane from LILLYDOO explains how you can help your little explorer overcome their fear of the doctor.

What can you do to help your child?

As an adult, it’s often easier to get through an unpleasant situation: you know that even annoying or painful procedures at the doctor’s office will pass and are meant to help you. Your young child doesn’t have that perspective yet, so it can be hard for them to assess and understand what’s happening. To help your little explorer feel taken seriously, it’s important to address their fears. That way, you can work together to overcome them. We’ve summarized a few tips to help you support your toddler.

Before the doctor's appointment

• Discuss the doctor visit

  Some parents avoid talking to their toddler about the upcoming visit to the pediatrician. They assume the child won’t understand what’s happening anyway and that it would only cause unnecessary worry. However, it’s important to explain to your little one—at their level—what to expect. This way, there are no unpleasant surprises that could increase fear next time. Instead, mention the doctor visit occasionally in everyday conversations. This takes away the feeling of an extraordinary, worrying event and shows that a doctor visit is a completely normal part of life.

• Show your child what happens at the doctor's office

  You can introduce your child to the situation in a playful way—for example, by “treating” stuffed animals together at home or by reading a suitable picture book that explains, in an age-appropriate way, what happens at a doctor’s practice. Explain what your child sees in the pictures and answer their questions honestly. That will likely spark your little explorer’s curiosity. You can also simply take your toddler with you when your next routine check-up is due. Seeing that even mom or dad goes to the doctor—and that nothing serious happens—can give your child confidence.

• Find the right practice for you

  One of the most important prerequisites for a relaxed doctor’s visit is that both you and your little explorer can build a trusting relationship with the pediatrician. When searching, it’s best to ask other parents in your area: which practice can they recommend? In addition to the doctor’s trusting and patient manner with your child, friendly medical assistants, an inviting atmosphere, and a colorful waiting room with play options can contribute greatly to a successful visit. To help your child stay relaxed during the next appointment, it can also help for them to get to know the practice beforehand—before an actual examination is scheduled. Many practices offer young patients the opportunity to visit outside of an appointment, so they can play calmly in the waiting room and get familiar with the atmosphere. Check directly with your practice to see whether such a visit is possible.

• Choose the Right Clothing

  To ensure the visit to the pediatrician doesn’t take longer than necessary—and your toddler isn’t stressed even more—you can dress them beforehand in “doctor-friendly” clothing that’s easy to put on and take off.

During the doctor's appointment

• Create a comforting atmosphere

  Show your child during the appointment that you’re always there for them and that nothing bad will happen. This helps you convey safety and protection. If the examination allows, you can hold your toddler on your lap during the procedure. You can also bring a cuddly blanket for your little explorer. A familiar blanket can soothe and warm them if they need to stay undressed for part of the examination. By explaining—together with the doctor—what’s happening in an age-appropriate way, your child can build trust.

• Provide Distraction

  If your toddler is still tense, or if an uncomfortable procedure such as a vaccination or blood draw is coming up, try distracting them to make the process a bit more pleasant. If you are breastfeeding, you can also offer your breast during the vaccination or blood draw to soothe your child. However, the best distraction is—and remains—laughter: it helps your little explorer release happiness hormones that counteract stress and relax their muscles. Many pediatricians have a few good tricks up their sleeve to make their young patients giggle.

• When nothing helps: Look for a new practice

  If all preparations don’t help, or you have a bad feeling about your current doctor, you can, of course, consider changing practices. Trust your gut when deciding whether it’s time to start looking for a new practice.

Whether your little explorer was very brave or still a bit shy: in any case, they deserve a small reward and a big compliment after each examination.

We wish you a relaxed and complication-free doctor's appointment!