Our day begins at 4:30 a.m., and from that moment on, life is in full swing. We make the beds and air out the rooms, wash and dress the children, start the first two loads of laundry, have breakfast, and administer Noah Lias’ medication. Then we say goodbye to everyone and take the little rascal to kindergarten. On the way back home, we do some shopping. At home, we unload and reload the dishwasher and take out the trash. Then Jonas, who is training to become a chef, goes to work for the first time. He works two shifts and is also driven to and from work by us in the evening. Once we’re back, it’s time to clean and tidy up, occasionally change a diaper, comfort someone after a quarrel, and make calls to authorities and doctors. After picking up the rascal from daycare, we have lunch at home, followed by a midday rest. Around two o’clock, we pick up the older one from his first shift. Afterwards, we have snack time, where treats are allowed. Fruit, chopped up, is available on our dining table all day. When everyone’s belly is full of chocolate, the afternoon program begins: most of the time, we go outside, to our garden or into the forest. In bad weather, we stay indoors, singing, crafting, and playing board games. While I cook dinner, the little ones are allowed to watch TV. Around six o’clock, we eat. We always start the meal with a table rhyme, and everyone shares about their day. Depending on work hours and shifts, Markus might also join us. After eating, we get the little ones ready for bed, and then it’s time for the rascal and the two little ones to go to sleep. I then tidy up and take care of the laundry before picking up Jonas from his second shift. If we’re not completely exhausted yet, we watch TV or read. A thorough cleaning happens on Saturdays, and everything that can’t be managed at the moment has to wait. Shared activities and time on weekends, when Nici is also with us, are more important to us than a perfectly mowed lawn.

Why I would choose a large family again and again

If I were asked what life as a large-family mom has taught me, I would clearly answer, "Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive anyway." In other words, I try not to get upset over trivialities—there are far more important things than dusty bookshelves. I am truly a passionate mom, and I sometimes feel that many parents nowadays set their expectations for life with children too high. They want to offer their children as much as possible and sometimes forget that it is often the small things that make children happy. I believe that life in a large family makes my children incredibly strong because they grow up with siblings who, despite all the quarrels, are lifelong companions. They learn to hold back sometimes and not always be first. And they grow through these experiences. Sure, they probably also find it annoying to grow up with several siblings. And they would all love to send everyone else to the moon. But in the end, it’s simply wonderful that we all have each other.

On International Family Day on May 15th, LILLYDOO wants to celebrate family because family is one of the most beautiful and important pillars in life. But not all families are the same—and that's a good thing! Five families, representing the enriching diversity of families that exist, have given us insight into their lives. We’re excited to share their fascinating and very personal stories with you here. Maybe you’ll see yourself and your family reflected in one or two places. But even if your family looks very different, it surely brings that extra dose of happiness and love into your life, too.

This time: Rea and her husband Markus, both 37, have a total of six children. In our article, the large-family mom shares her lively everyday life near Flensburg.

Large family—what does that even mean? How many children does it take to be considered one? And is it justifiable in today’s world to have a large family? These are questions my husband Markus and I keep asking ourselves, whether because our environment is curious about our lifestyle or because we’re questioning ourselves. When I learned that LILLYDOO had asked if I would write this post on the occasion of their campaign for International Family Day, I was truly delighted, because it’s always nice when there is genuine interest in life with many children.

We are a lively large family from the far north, living in a village with 3,000 inhabitants near Flensburg. Markus (37) and I (also 37) have been a couple for nine years and have a total of six children. I brought two children into the relationship: Jonas (16) and Emily (14). Markus has a son, Nici (12). We have two children together, Noah Lias (3) and Jonna Luna (2), and a foster son (4), whom we affectionately call "the rascal" in this post because we are not allowed to mention his name.

Markus himself comes from a large family, with five siblings. I knew early on that I wanted to have children, and preferably lots of them. As cheesy as it may sound, children are truly my absolute purpose in life. As a teenager, I earned some pocket money by babysitting; later, I looked after daycare children and then worked as a family helper before my husband and I decided to take in foster children. So it has always been about caring for and supporting children, and Markus and I see this as our life mission.

Große und kleine Hürden

I would be lying if I claimed that life as a large family is always easy and that everything runs smoothly on its own. In our case, the model of “living with many children” also includes the fact that we are a patchwork and foster family, and our three-year-old son Noah Lias was diagnosed with epilepsy just over a year ago. Each factor on its own comes with certain challenges; combined, it means daily work and effort to keep family life running. It means making sure none of the children are left behind and that everyone is treated as fairly as possible. It means recognizing individual characters, personalities, and wishes and adjusting accordingly. For example, my oldest daughter Emily decided last year, after eleven years with me, to live entirely with her father for a change and not just experience him as a weekend dad—a decision that is understandable, but also very sad for me. But we don’t just want to talk in theory about paying attention to our children’s individual needs and accepting them—we want to live this principle. And so, there are daily smaller and larger difficulties that Markus and I have to overcome as a large, patchwork family!

When people in our social environment hear that we have a total of six children and also take in foster children, reactions range from amazement and respect to skepticism and prejudices that can be hard to shift. Many simply cannot imagine that everyday life with more than the usual two-child families in our society can work—that you can experience this task as an enrichment and not solely as a burden. They may see it as a restriction that you can’t go on vacation every year, that a weekly grocery shop quickly costs 300 euros, and that spontaneous trips to the cinema aren’t an option. We understand that people have certain concerns and prejudices, and we also enjoy discussing them and are open to criticism. However, for us, “the tone makes the music,” and it does sometimes happen that we have to deal with insulting comments. Still, we really have to say that we mostly receive positive reactions, and even the idea of expanding our family further is met with encouragement.

Our large family everyday life

Everyday life as a large family certainly differs from that of a family with perhaps only one or two children. However, the pillars that shape our day are definitely adaptable to other family models as well. We have very structured routines, boundaries, rules, rituals, and systems. These help the children—and us—avoid sinking into chaos, keep from missing appointments, and create breathing room alongside all the tasks.