Parenthood involves discovering countless things we never imagined—or that we saw around us but never really noticed. Tantrums, for example, are one of those parenting experiences we often don’t know how to handle very well. It often begins with a change: your baby, so sweet and calm, suddenly enters a phase where outbursts multiply. This usually starts around 18 months, but it can happen earlier or later. Sometimes fatigue and uncertainty leave you unsure how to support these episodes, marked by screaming, crying, or even hitting. Who hasn’t found their little one on the supermarket floor, kicking? Don’t worry—it’s completely normal. Next, we explain what tantrums are and how you can respond to them in a respectful way.

Tantrums are normal

Between 18 months and 4 years, your little adventurer may go through periods of explosive reactions when things don’t happen the way they expected. No, you are not spoiling them—these reactions are completely normal in child development, and all children go through them, some more intensely than others. The psychologist, specialized in parenting, explains that tantrums are as normal «as a baby's cry when hungry, as crawling, or as difficulty controlling pee and poop». The difference is that they’re hard to cope with, and for a long time they were seen as a sign of poor parenting. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tantrums appear when children begin to build their personality and seek greater autonomy; in doing so, they test the rules around them. Their brain is still developing, so they also need to learn how to manage their emotions and strengthen their language skills. «As children develop other more complex skills, these tend to decrease, which usually happens gradually from around 4 or 5 years old,» the psychologist notes on his blog. So arm yourself with patience and understanding because, truly, everything passes!

Various intensities, various characters

Although your little adventurer’s age may give you clues that they’re in the tantrum stage, some children show this change more intensely than others. It depends on each child’s personality, and there isn’t much you can do beyond supporting them based on what they need—adjusting your parenting to their way of being, their character, and their needs.

Some of the signs you may notice during this tantrum period—which is completely normal, as we mentioned above—are:

• You may find that your little one clashes with almost everything you do, and that “no” has become an essential part of their vocabulary.

• Your little adventurer may go through intense mood swings: they can get angry easily, switching from laughter to tears in an instant.

• They stay close to you and pull away almost at the same time.

• Their relationship with other children can sometimes be complicated, and physical behaviors such as pushing or hitting may even appear.

• They test the limits you’ve set and always try to go a little further. That’s when they may express frustration through crying, shouting, or physical outbursts.

How to manage crises?

Very often, tantrums happen during key moments of daily life—for example, during meals, while getting dressed, or when leaving the house. These are routines you repeat every day and that, without realizing it, can become a source of conflict. Your little adventurer may easily resist any action, which reinforces their autonomy but also tests your patience.

Your child’s difficulty expressing themselves is also a source of anger. They understand more than they can say, and they get frustrated when they can’t clearly communicate what they want. As a result, they may express that feeling explosively, with crying and shouting. Your little one has trouble controlling and understanding their emotions—and those of others, too. When an adult gets angry, they may find it very hard to process. Little by little, your child will become more aware of others and their emotions and will move beyond the egocentric stage typical of the early years.

There are always different levels, depending on the child—and different tolerance thresholds among parents. But try to relax; it’s one of the best choices you can make. It’s normal to feel like this tantrum stage will last forever, as if life will always be like this. But don’t worry—it will pass. There isn’t one single way to handle it, and there’s no magic recipe we can give you, but there are some key points that can help you get through it as smoothly as possible.

1. Improve communication

Communication is key at every stage, and especially now. If your child gets angry, it’s often because they can’t communicate what they feel. They need to express their emotions, but they don’t yet know how. That frustration can lead to a meltdown. Explain things simply, and give them time to express themselves. They need attention and to feel heard. Try to anticipate situations that may trigger tantrums, and set consistent limits and rules that you can explain in a straightforward way. And remember: sometimes you can give in. You can be firm while still staying flexible. It’s okay if, to prevent a tantrum, you give in to a preference that doesn’t compromise your child’s safety.

2. Avoid lengthy explanations during the crisis

As we’ve said, communication is very important—but when a tantrum is happening, avoid long explanations. In the middle of an explosive crisis, it’s hard for your little one to listen or process what you’re saying. Their emotions have taken over, and for a few minutes you won’t be able to do much more than stay close and support them. During these moments, keep messages brief and clear, and once the tantrum has ended, you can talk about what happened.

3. Increase the dose of love

“We only need love” may sound simple—even a little cheesy—but it’s true: human beings need love. During this tantrum stage, your child needs tenderness and affection more than ever. Take the opportunity to offer extra hugs and kisses. It’s never too much. You can create a daily ritual of shared, gentle moments that becomes a refuge for your little adventurer, helping them feel loved and secure. When your child has a tantrum, you can help them calm down by talking to them first. Then, if it continues, let them release their anger. Just like adults, young children need to express their emotions. It can also help to use positive reinforcement: praise your child for being able to calm down on their own. Give them a hug and tell them you’re proud of them. Showing your child that you trust them is also proof of love.

4. Do not lose control.

We know it isn’t easy to stay patient and in control, but confrontation is never the answer. Yelling or trying to impose your will only releases your own anger in a situation that already feels overwhelming. You’ll waste a lot of energy, and it can damage your bond with your child. Sometimes it may feel impossible, as if the situation is taking over—but try to step back. Don’t blame yourself if you can’t: sometimes you simply don’t have the time, energy, or emotional bandwidth, and that’s normal. You also deserve compassion. Accept your imperfections, your missteps, and your limits, and try to find balance.

5. Remember: this too shall pass

When you remember that tantrums are a normal developmental phase—something evolutionary that will resolve over time—you’ll respond very differently than if you see them as a problem that requires “strict discipline so the child doesn’t become spoiled.” So the next time your child goes into tantrum mode, breathe, take a deep breath, and remember that, at some point, this will stop happening.