Whether planned or unplanned, pregnancy always brings changes to a partnership. Especially with a first child, when a couple becomes a family, pregnancy often marks a transitional period in many relationships—one that helps you prepare for the new situation and enjoy the last moments as a couple for now. In this article, you’ll learn about the potential effects of pregnancy on your partnership. You’ll also find the answer to the question of whether sex is possible during pregnancy and what changes it may involve.

Partnership during pregnancy

Vor welche Herausforderungen stellt eine Schwangerschaft die Partnerschaft?

Besides the joy and pride of soon becoming parents, pregnancy can also bring questions, uncertainties, and fears for both of you. While you, as the pregnant person, often feel physical changes early on and develop a direct physical connection to your baby, your partner can only experience the pregnancy from the outside—through a growing belly, the first ultrasound image, or the first noticeable baby movements. As a result, the fact that you’re expecting a child together may initially remain an abstract thought for your partner, which can lead to them feeling left out or even superfluous in the first few weeks. However, your partner is likely just as concerned as you are about the new situation and may wonder whether they will be able to fulfill their future role as a parent.

The shared responsibility that comes with a child can introduce a sense of obligation into the relationship that may not have been present before. As a result, questions may arise that previously didn’t feel relevant. All these changes can lead to conflicts in a partnership, which may be further intensified by mutual expectations and external pressure. Of course, it’s also possible that your pregnancy and the prospect of having a child together will bring you and your partner even closer and positively influence your relationship.

Wie kann ich mit Ängsten und Zweifeln umgehen und meine Partnerschaft stärken?

Even though every relationship is different, there are some things you and your partner can do to respond to—or proactively address—typical conflict situations during pregnancy. Many couples find it helpful to approach the new situation by making concrete plans and talking about your shared future: How do you envision the coming months? How do you both see the division of responsibilities, and what are your ideas about child-rearing and living together? It can help to first reflect on your own ideas and expectations and then communicate them clearly to your partner to avoid misunderstandings.

Some couples find it difficult when one partner seems to react less emotionally to the pregnancy than the other. It’s important to accept that everyone experiences pregnancy and the upcoming parental role differently—nevertheless, open, partnership-based communication can be especially helpful here. Talking to your partner about your feelings and sharing both your doubts and your anticipation can help you empathize with each other and better understand one another’s reactions.

Just as important as strengthening your connection is continuing to honor your own needs and taking (emotional) care of yourself. This can make it easier to come together in moments of conflict and to compromise when it matters.

Welche Möglichkeiten gibt es, die Schwangerschaft als Paar gemeinsam zu erleben?

Shared activities and outings are a great way for your partner to show support while also becoming more actively involved in the pregnancy. We’ve gathered a few ideas for how you can experience this time together:

• Going to the doctor together: Ultrasound examinations are a wonderful opportunity for your partner to connect with your baby. When planning, keep in mind that your partner—unlike you—does not have the right to time off from work for prenatal appointments.

• Attend a childbirth preparation course together, where you can prepare for a shared birth experience

• Enjoy a relaxing belly massage with your partner and follow your baby’s movements together

• Live out your (or your ;)) nesting instinct and prepare the nursery together for your baby's arrival

• Choose a name for your little explorer: with the baby name finder of the LILLYDOO App you will find your mutual favorite based on the principle "Swipe, like, match!"

• Plan a shared Babymoon or (short) vacation with a baby bump, giving you the opportunity to consciously enjoy togetherness, peace, and relaxation once again

• Set fixed dates and activities for the two of you—times that aren’t about pregnancy and babies and that intentionally focus on your relationship

Of course, you’ll also find your own ways to spend the waiting time for your baby together. :)

Sex during pregnancy

In addition to your relationship in general, pregnancy can also affect your sex life. In the following section, you’ll learn what can change. But first, the most important question ;):

Ist Sex in der Schwangerschaft möglich?

The answer is: Yes! Although the persistent rumor still exists that sex during pregnancy is harmful to the baby, many expectant parents—especially in the early weeks—shy away from being sexually active. However, the concern that your baby could be harmed is completely unfounded. During pregnancy, the uterus is securely closed off from the outside by the mucus plug, and your baby is well protected inside.

The fear that sex during pregnancy can lead to an early birth is also generally unfounded. While it’s true that prostaglandins contained in male semen can have a labor-inducing effect, they can only stimulate contractions when your body and your baby are ready for birth. If you’re past your due date, sex is sometimes recommended and used as a method of induction. But you don’t need to worry about that beforehand.

An active sex life is possible throughout the nine months when both of you feel like it, and apart from a few medical exceptions, nothing stands in the way. On the contrary, intimate togetherness can even have a positive effect on your well-being and, consequently, on your baby. During sexual arousal, the hormone oxytocin is released. It’s also known as the love and bonding hormone and can strengthen the sense of togetherness between you and your partner.

Wann ist Vorsicht geboten?

Although there is usually nothing against sex during pregnancy, there are some medical circumstances under which caution is advised:

• Infections, bleeding, premature labor, or pain

• If you are suffering from placenta previa or have had a water break

• In the first third of pregnancy, if you have already experienced an early miscarriage .

• In the last trimester of pregnancy, when there is a risk of preterm birth

• In multiple pregnancies

If any of these points apply to you, or if you’re unsure whether you can continue having sex without concerns, it’s best to ask your gynecologist or midwife for advice.

Wie kann sich Sex in der Schwangerschaft verändern?

With the many changes your body goes through during pregnancy, it’s no wonder your sex life can change, too. During pregnancy, your entire body and your sexual organs are more richly supplied with blood. This can increase your desire for sex and lead to more intense sensations and orgasms. Other women, on the other hand, may find touch to their genitals and breasts uncomfortable or even painful. Let your partner know what feels especially pleasurable now and what you don’t like—after all, they can’t know how tenderness feels for you.

Another physical change associated with pregnancy is increased vaginal discharge, which can enhance lubrication. Many couples—and especially expectant mothers—also report that the need for security and physical closeness grows during pregnancy.

Physical changes can influence sexual desire differently throughout pregnancy. In the first trimester, around half of women experience a decrease in sexual desire due to nausea, morning sickness, and fatigue.

If these symptoms subside in the second trimester, most pregnant women feel more comfortable again, and in more than two-thirds of women, libido increases. By now, the physical changes are usually visible from the outside. Some women feel comfortable and beautiful in their pregnant body, while others find it challenging. It’s quite possible that your partner finds the changes in your body during pregnancy exciting and fascinating. However, some people may also feel uncertain about their partner’s physical changes and the thought of the shared child. In such cases, it can be helpful to consider together how you can still approach each other—or whether there are other ways to experience closeness and tenderness together.

In the third trimester , sexual desire decreases again for many women due to the growing belly, reduced mobility, and other physical discomforts. When some positions become uncomfortable or strenuous toward the end of pregnancy, a bit more creativity is needed during sex. Suitable positions for pregnancy include the spoon position (side-lying), the rider position, doggy style (kneeling position), sitting sex, and oral sex.

Ultimately, every pregnancy and every relationship is unique, and as a couple, you’ll need to find your own way—even as your togetherness changes. If you communicate your wishes and needs and approach each other openly, you’ll soon discover what intimacy and sex can look like during pregnancy in your relationship. We wish you all the best on your journey from a couple to a family!