Another goodnight kiss, and then it’s time for your little explorer to sleep. You’re probably looking forward to a few quiet hours for yourself in the evening, too. All the more alarming it is when a sudden scream comes from your child’s room: your child’s eyes are wide open, but they’re unresponsive. It’s likely a night terror.

Our LILLYDOO expert Heike vom Heede is a qualified social pedagogue and, among other things, offers sleep consulting for parents at her practice in Düsseldorf. In our interview, she explains what night terrors are, how to recognize them, how to distinguish them from a nightmare, and what you can do during an episode.

What is a night terror?

Liebe Heike, was ist der Nachtschreck und wer ist davon betroffen?

The night terror—known in technical terms as night terrors —is a sleep disorder that remains something of a mystery to this day. This means no one can predict when or whether a night terror will occur in your child, as not every child experiences it during their lifetime.

Night terrors most commonly occur in toddlers around the age of 2 and can recur repeatedly until the age of 6. However, some children experience night terrors until the age of 9, and others are affected as infants.

Und wie äußert sich der Nachtschreck?

A night terror doesn’t announce itself. You put your child to bed as usual, and after about 1.5 to 3 hours, they will—at least from our perspective—wake up. They scream, possibly flail their arms and legs , and sometimes your child may also make loud sounds that are mostly difficult or impossible to understand. What worries many parents most is that the child’s eyes are open , but they aren’t looking at you—only into the void. That’s how you can tell your little explorer is actually still in a deep sleep phase ; only the body seems awake. During night terrors, a lot is happening in the child’s brain, and the nervous system is working at full speed. However, children are unresponsive and in their own world. Night terrors can also occur in combination with sleepwalking .

Such a night terror can last up to 20 minutes . And the next morning, most children don’t even remember having a night terror or sleepwalking. Night terrors can be a one-time event, happen once a month, or occur only twice a year—anything is possible. Unfortunately, no prediction can be made, as the cause of this sleep disorder often cannot be identified.

Even if we can’t fully understand what exactly is happening in that moment, one thing is important:

Distinction from the nightmare

Wie können Eltern erkennen, ob das Kind einen Nachtschreck oder Albtraum hat?

Nightmares often occur in the second half of the night, though sometimes they can happen earlier. Unlike night terrors, children having a nightmare usually have their eyes mostly closed . They are upset, but they notice that you are there and need closeness so you can gently help your child out of the nightmare. Often, a trigger can be identified—usually something in the child’s environment, such as tension or conflict within the family or problems at daycare. Nightmares shouldn’t be ongoing, as these fear-inducing dreams are very exhausting. However, some children even process seemingly trivial things as nightmares.

To better determine which sleep disorder your child is experiencing, you can <\/span> keep a sleep diary and record exactly what happened during the night.

Tips for assistance and prevention

Was können Eltern während des Nachtschrecks tun?

Mothers and fathers should continue to accompany their child during night terrors and not wake them up . Although your child is so absorbed in their own world that you can’t comfort or distract them, simply being there for your little explorer already helps. Make sure your child doesn’t hurt themselves, and if they sleepwalk, walk quietly behind them and ensure the front door is locked.

Try to calm yourself, too. Night terrors are often more frightening for parents, because they can look intense at first and naturally make you worry about your child. Especially when the sleep disturbance happens for the first time, it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and helpless, and the situation can really affect you. Take deep breaths, and if you have a partner, it can sometimes help simply to be held in their arms.

Gibt es denn etwas, wie sich dem Nachtschreck vorbeugen lässt?

A good and regular evening routine can help your child sleep well and may prevent night terrors. The evening ritual should offer not too much input and should therefore work without music and, above all, without television . Instead of exciting stories, tell your child beautiful or funny ones to help them fall asleep—especially if nightmares are also an issue. For good sleep, your little explorer should also have been outside and moved enough .

Sometimes, night terrors can be connected to the processing of a shock from everyday life. When your child cries out loudly during night terrors , you may be able to pick up a clue about what the fright is related to. During the day, it helps to pay attention to what your little explorer is afraid of, what they need to process, and what may have been exhausting. With an older child, you can address these things and offer ways to process the fright together. For example, ask whether you should draw the fright together. Or try an explanation: if your child was frightened by an ambulance siren, you can tell them that ambulances sometimes drive quietly, but when they need to get somewhere quickly, they are loud. For older children, books can also be a helpful support. These approaches can reduce the fright and help the brain cope, so that ideally nothing more needs to be processed at night through a night terror. With infants, it’s a bit more difficult to process a fright together. You know your baby best and understand which situations may have been stressful, and you will surely find ways to handle it together.

Furthermore, it’s important that you don’t develop a fear of the nights and that night terrors don’t become parental terrors. Learn how to handle night terrors and how to calm yourself in the moment. Whether your child is older, still a toddler, or a baby, they will sense your confidence when you put them to bed calmly and are there for them.

To prevent issues, it’s also important that your child feels as little tension as possible between you and your partner. Conflicts should also be avoided—even if that isn’t always possible. :) After an argument, it’s important to talk it through and resolve any disagreements before bedtime, so that each family member can go to sleep peacefully.

And finally, I would like to ask all parents, in all matters—whether night terrors, sleepwalking, or nightmares—not to tell their child about what happened at night.

Wann sollten sich Eltern Hilfe holen?

If night terrors occur regularly and your child is tired and exhausted during the day , you should see your pediatrician. The same applies if your child becomes aggressive during night terrors and there is a risk of injury , or if the sleep disorder needs medical clarification. The doctor will then decide which further steps are necessary and may refer you to a sleep laboratory . Usually, sleep is monitored for one night, and then an accurate diagnosis is made. Even if the night in the sleep laboratory can be a bit exhausting—because many people sleep worse there—it can be reassuring when the diagnosis is “night terrors” and nothing serious is behind it.

Even if you’re unsure how to handle night terrors, you can seek professional support so you can face the nights with more confidence.

Wie hilfst Du mit Deiner Schlafberatung und -begleitung?

First, I get a complete picture of the family situation: How was the pregnancy and the birth? When did the night terrors start? How are the mother and/or father doing? And what about siblings? This works very well via video call, but of course being there in person is even better, and I always appreciate it when parents trust me enough to invite me into their home.

In the next step, I try to give parents back a sense of security and show them what is already going well. Many don’t even realize that they are doing many things right, and it’s helpful to reinforce that. When that support is in place and I see that the parents have the energy to make a change, we develop ways together for the child to settle down in the evening—sometimes no changes are necessary at all. Mindfully, we also look at whether additional professional expertise is needed and, if not already done, involve the pediatrician. If a sleep expert is recommended, I work with the parents to find suitable professionals if the pediatrician doesn’t have a contact.

In this way, I support families and am grateful for their trust. My most important concern is that parents and children can sleep peacefully again.

Thank you very much for this great overview and the valuable tips for parents on the topic of night terrors, dear Heike. We hope we’ve helped ease your fear of night terrors, and that you—and especially your little explorer—will soon enjoy peaceful, restful nights again. You can also find more tips on how to respond appropriately to night terrors in our YouTube Video with LILLYDOO sleep expert Julia.