The Montessori Method teaches us to raise an independent child naturally. It may seem like a difficult path—one that requires specific schools and trained teachers—but it doesn’t have to be. A Montessori school can certainly help make the learning experience more complete, but you can also apply the Montessori method at home with a few small adjustments. Ultimately, all children reach independence sooner or later (sometimes we parents find it hard to let go!), but supporting them through this process can truly make their lives much easier.

Plato argued that it is in childhood that the ability to distinguish good from evil develops. Why is it important to encourage a child's autonomy? At such a delicate moment in a person’s life, a child must be given the opportunity to have experiences and, on their own, develop the moral conscience that the Greek philosopher and writer discussed in his treatises.

So, how can you encourage this growth process?

How to help a child become independent?

Let's start with the idea that the only actions to prohibit are those that can cause harm to the child, others, or the environment. With this premise, if you want to raise a truly independent child, you must trust them . You need to trust in their abilities and, at the same time, set some boundaries : “yes” and “no” help create safe limits within which the child knows they can move with confidence. Learning to do things independently doesn’t take much; it simply requires small steps. How? By helping around the house or tidying up toys after using them, for example.

5 actions that promote independence

Let's look more concretely at the simplest actions you can use to teach your child independence:

1. Mettere in ordine i giochi dopo averli utilizzati.

Every time your child finishes playing with something, encourage them to put it back in its original place before moving on to the next game. It’s a small gesture that teaches them to take care of their belongings and keep their room tidy, without placing the burden on parents. Are they still too young to do it alone? Tidy up together and let them lend a real hand.

2. Fatevi aiutare in casa.

Every small daily gesture that includes their contribution helps guide them toward independence. Sometimes it takes very little: helping set the table by placing napkins, putting freshly washed clothes into a laundry basket that you’ll take to the drying rack, or handing clothes to mom or dad to hang. Contributing—even in a small way—to household chores can also be a lot of fun, because they’ll feel grown-up. Want to bet?

3. Vuole qualcosa? Insegnategli a prenderlo da solo!

A glass of water, a toy, a handkerchief. Create a suitable environment for your child by making sure they can reach what they need on their own, instead of doing it for them.

4. Insegnategli a mangiare da solo.

At first, they will definitely use their hands, get messy, and dirty the tablecloth, kitchen, floor, clothes—everything! Then, little by little, they’ll learn to use utensils too. There will be days when they probably won’t want to eat alone, will prefer to be fed, and will keep their mouth closed instead of doing it themselves: be patient, encourage them, and if they truly don’t want to do it differently, go along with them. The path to autonomy is long and sometimes even tortuous.

5. Il pannolino? Può metterlo da solo!

A very basic thing that may seem easy—but isn’t at all—is putting on a diaper, and it’s a great step toward independence. To help them do it without too much effort (so they don’t get discouraged), try with the : comfortable, practical, and not bulky at all. Our diapers are made from a soft material that prevents chafing and is gentle on children’s sensitive skin: even if your little explorer insists a bit longer on trying to pull up or down the training pants, they won’t risk skin irritation.

Finally, dear parents, do not lie and do not promise what you cannot keep. This is a fundamental point: we parents, first and foremost, must be honest, because a child needs to learn to trust us and what we tell them. If their request cannot be fulfilled, tell them and explain the reason. It could even be because you simply don’t feel like it—why not?

Do you want to go to the park but you don’t feel like it? Don’t tell them it’s closed when that’s not true; simply say that you don’t feel like it at that moment. And if you can’t do that, don’t promise you’ll go later. Only make promises if you are sure you can keep them!