Who hasn’t heard of the formidable "terrible two" ?

The English call it the “terrible two,” a phase that parents of children aged between 18 and 36 months often come to know firsthand. It is, in fact, an evolutionary phase that tests the patience of even the calmest parents.

Are you wondering what happened to that sweet, tender bundle who did nothing but sleep, drink milk, and pee and poop? Suddenly, your baby screams, kicks, throws themself on the ground in an inconsolable crying fit, and the only word they seem to know is NO!

Don't worry: you're in the terrible twos phase, and like any period, the reassuring thing is that it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Terrible duo: the NOs that symbolize fears and insecurities

It's not just a power struggle made of NO whims , the much-feared phase of the terrible two . Often, parents assume children are trying to challenge them, but in reality, it’s simply a different way of expressing emotions during a delicate evolutionary transition in their lives. Through these apparent challenges, children show their insecurities and fears, which often sit alongside a strong desire to explore the world; They begin to recognize themselves as individuals separate from their mother, but at the same time, they must find the tools to control growing anger and manage the frustrations that come with these emotional ups and downs.

The role of parents is to stay close to their child, offering strategies and solutions to help them navigate this true emotional storm.

Ma quanto durano questi terrible two?

The terrible two: how long do they last?

The first piece of advice is to take a deep breath and try to approach this developmental phase calmly. Sooner or later, all parents reach the milestone of the terrible twos; there is no set rule about its duration. It usually lasts a few months, at most one year , and within a few weeks the situation should begin to improve. Parents learn to understand and cope with this challenging developmental phase, which is important for the development of your child , and find strategies to gradually lighten these new burdens.

Dealing with the terrible twos: strategies parents can adopt

First of all, parents need to arm themselves with plenty of patience and stay steady; children’s mood swings during this period can be frequent and sudden. With a bit of workshop Parents will also be able to predict and anticipate all those situations that we know could trigger these sudden crises.

It’s best to avoid enclosed, crowded places and overly stimulating environments that can emotionally exhaust a child and make them irritable; outdoor spaces are preferable, where your child can practice their motor skills through outdoor play, which helps improve mood and tires them out in a healthy way.

1. Distract your child

Distraction is a helpful tool when you need your child to do something they absolutely don’t want to do, or when you want to interrupt an uncontrollable crying fit. You can also introduce something that breaks the usual routine, to redirect them and regain the calm you both need in that moment.

2. Discover the concentration in the terrible two

Concentration can also be a tool you use to interrupt your child's whims by capturing their attention with what’s right in front of you in that moment. Look at that ladybug—how small it is, and how tiny its little legs are. ”, it can help, and you may be amazed at how suddenly your child stops crying, forgetting what triggered the meltdown.

3. Few but good rules

You only need a few rules, so you don’t confuse the child or make them feel limited in everything , but it’s important to be extremely consistent with the rules you set—without compromise, even in the case of crying.

4. Alternative date concrete

Offering a choice can help your child come out of a crying spell, as long as it’s a choice you can truly stick with. This approach helps your child feel more autonomous without giving too many alternatives, which often only leads to more confusion.

5. Facing Emotions

P Talking about their emotions, treating them with respect, and using words and concepts that are easy for them to understand can help a lot. ; there are numerous books on the topic that can support you as you take this journey of emotional processing together.

It often happens that these uncontrollable tantrums occur in public places, putting your nerves to an even greater test, because you may feel observed and perhaps a little judged by other people; even in this case losing your temper by raising your voice or showing excessive authority isn’t the goal. Your task is to calm your child with a warm, comforting hug and to set boundaries for their safety.

Basically, they’re just working on growing!